Over load

I've decidedly bitten off more than I can chew. I seem to have signed up for too much stuff to do outside of the holidays this Christmas! Right now I'm looking through what I've got and what I can easily delay. Here's my list:

1. play piano for Children's choir - must do
2. make cookies - highly recommended to do
3. participate in Living Nativity - must do
4. attend Sunday School play - must do
5. attend School Christmas play - must do
6. 3 family Christmases - must do
7. update my resume - can wait
8. refresher courses for work - needs to be done by Dec. 25th, thankfully on line
9. attend orientation days for work - must do
10. write - must do in order to sleep, which I haven't been sleeping well b/c I haven't been writing
11. apply for scholarships - can wait
12. apply for college - can wait
13. wrap presents - must do
14. plan snowshoeing/sledding for Young Adult group - can wait
15. attend flute ensemble at Blue Frog - really want to go, but guess I could skip it
16. keep up correspondence with people about my book - should do
17. work out - must do
18. organize ornaments - needs to be done by end of holidays
19. organize winter outer wear - can wait
20. practice piano for upcoming times to play at church in Jan/Feb - can wait

I feel better now that I know what needs to be done and what can wait. It's hard to put things off, since I want to do them all, but if I do, I won't have time for the kids!

Mansions in Heaven

As our world seems to be rushing head long into the Apocalypse, I've been dreaming of Heaven and the New Earth. It's very exciting to think of eternity and all that I've always wanted to do, people I want to meet, conversations I want to have with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and just being in God's presence physically. My imagination runs wild, although I know it doesn't compare to the wonderful and amazing things God has planned for me.

There is one black mark marring my perfect picture of life on the New Earth. The city. The city that is 1400 or so miles square! Paved with gold, adorned with every known jewel, and inhabited by every person who has embraced the one and only Truth (ok, that part will be nice). I do not like cities, nice places to visit, but not for me to live. I also hate ostentatiousness (my new word). I don't like gaudy or things that are gilded. I want green grass, lots of trees, gardens, and lots of animals around where I live. Give me an old Victorian home with lots of amazing wood work, secret passageways, hidden reading nooks, and a massive libraries and a nice kitchen. My ideal and the way the Holy City seems to be portrayed in the Bible don't seem to line up.

For a while that freaked me out. Where would I live? Would I be forced to live in the city in a house walled with jewels and gold? Would I be cut off from the nature I so love, and clean air? For a while I no longer wanted to go to Heaven, but I certainly didn't want to go to Hell!

Then, wandering into my brain from a source outside myself (read Holy Spirit speaking to me), saying my pastor likes to use. If we both thought the same, did the same things, agreed on everything, liked the same things, one of us would be redundant and unnecessary.

Here I sit, in a house and life I never wanted, asked for, or thought I would enjoy. How much better God knows me than I know myself. I can look back through the years and observe God's faithfulness in my life to care for me, give me the things I need, and even things just for the shear enjoyment of them. Obviously He loves me greatly and wants to make me happy. Knowing me as well as He does, and I know the number of times He has been right in knowing exactly what I wanted compared to what I thought I wanted, I need to have faith. He has been faithful and consistent the whole time I've known Him, what makes me think He'll change once I get to Heaven.

For the most part I rest contented in the thought that whatever place He has prepared for me will be exactly what I want and need. But, I have had numerous chats with Him about what I'd like...

Boys and Girls

Last year Elizabeth and Samuel were playing a version of hide and seek. We have a little tiger with 2 wands. You can hide the tiger and find him using the wands, which light up and beep as you get closer. Elizabeth walks into the room where I happened to be. "Shhh, Mommy, we're trying to find a baby tiger. He's lost."

Then Samuel walks in. His pose is different, as is his intent. He tip toes around, sighting along his wand, which is held up to his eye. One eye closed, he says, "Mommy, I'm hunting a tiger." And immediately spotting the tiger, he proceeds to shoot it.

Elizabeth, meanwhile, is hysterical. "Stop him, Mommy. He's shooting the baby tiger!"

Satisfied the tiger is finally dead, Samuel turns to her, "It was a big mean tiger and I shot him dead."

Needless to say the game ended there, with Samuel taking his trophy off to be stuffed and Elizabeth wailing over the death of the baby tiger.

Too Sleepy...

The tryptophan in the turkey seems to be kicking in. I'm getting so tired I can barely keep my head up. The past couple of days were great with both our families. I'm so thankful that we have been able to see everyone of our nieces, nephews, siblings, parents, and grandparents that are still on this earth. The kids have had a great time playing with everyone and eating lots of good food. Off to try to find a few extra hours of sleep before seeing more family tomorrow.

The Crazy Family

Every family has a "Crazy" Family group. When all the siblings, their spouses and children, get together. There is always one family that walks in and it's like adding 20 extra people, no matter the size of the crazy family.

My family has been designated the "Crazy" Family out of my siblings. We have the oldest, and the most, kids so far in my family. They are a bit loud sometimes. I don't believe my kids are too crazy. They don't jump on or off furniture. They don't break things, maybe once or twice this has happened they try to be careful around other people's things. They aren't disrespectful or rude. I believe we received this title simply b/c we have the most kids, so of course we generate the most noise. 2/3 other grandchildren are under 1yo, so they can't be too crazy yet.

My only hope, someone else either has more kids (doubtful) or their kids grow crazier than mine!

Shopping Woes!

I should have asked my sister-in-law to do my grocery shopping this week. It just hasn't been my week to either find time or find the items I need.

I normally grocery shop on Monday mornings, when I only have 2 kids to drag with me. My kids don't hate shopping, they love it! They believe that stores are giant play places, and thus it is hard to concentrate on what I need to buy. Life conspired against me this week, of course, especially since there is a holiday coming up and I won't be able to find time to shop for 3 days.

Monday I traveled up to a doctor's appointment, which should have been very short. It was, just the waiting time was long. Much easier when you're pregnant, they seem to be able to get you right in. I had hoped to squeeze in one store to pick up essentials - milk, cereal, bread, etc. Alas, it was not to be. I also needed to make phone calls from my mother-in-laws house, since I still have not bought a new one that can make out going calls. I figured that since I did not have much planned besides some weekly cleaning, I should be able to find time to run to the store sometime Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning. Never happened.

Monday night, I ran to the store for cereal, since we were out and you can't not have cereal with kids in the house. So, I stopped at one of the stores to pick up the few items I needed from there, after all the kids were in bed and I did my aerobics.

Tuesday morning, instead of going shopping, I waited around for our new hot water heater to be delivered. Installing the hot water heater took most of the day. By the time it was completed, Elizabet was due home in a half hour and then the older two had swim lessons.

The plan then became to head right out after the kids were in bed. But, Matt got home late and I lost all ambition to leave the house. We still needed milk and bread though. So, I headed out to pick them up. I picked up enough food to last us until Saturday am, then I'll have to go shopping again. But...

...I forgot the milk!

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's back to work I go...

It's finally happened. The littlest Princess now sleeps through the night, fairly regularly, so it's time for me to head back to work. I can't really complain. My job is very flexible. I can work any hour of the day or night, doing just about anything, and get paid good money for it as well.

I called the hospital I was working per diem at last. Since I do not have retirement, insurance, or anything else along those lines, they just keep me on the list. Last time, I worked on the medical floor, not my favorite, but doable. Except for the supervisor...She was not very happy to have me on as a per diem nurse. She tried to interview me for a full time aide position. She never bothered to set up an orientation for me, or even give me an orientation packet. Granted, I have worked on a medical floor before, so it wasn't too hard to find the groove again, but she should still have gotten one to me. I printed that out myself. Then I started getting notes about when I was going to hand my packet in to her. Mentioned that she never gave me one, and was told to just fill it out. Never bothered to contact me to see when I could work or tell me where holes in staffing could be filled in. I contacted her when my phone number changed, she never bothered to pass it along. Contacted her when I ended up pregnant with the littlest Princess, and she tried to fire me b/c I had stopped coming to work. Oh well.

I've asked to be set to the surgical floor, which is also the overflow medical floor and the pediatric floor. I'm hoping they'll let me work there. I guess I could work on the surgical floor again, if I had to, which I really don't have to. There are plenty of other medical facilities in the area. Working nights fits my schedule best, and most places need to fill their night positions.

I enjoy working as a nurse. I prefer the surgical floor in the hospital, dialysis or hospice outside the hospital. I've also tried subbing as a school nurse, the kids are fun to work with, but the parents and administration irritate me too much to ever be full time. I plan on working as a nurse in some form for the rest of my life.

Now, maybe I can sell my book and therefore never have to work full time again...

All or None

I've found myself frustrated time and time again while trying to loose weight. Generally it's not what I eat, but how much I eat. I like to eat and I like to eat a lot. I have a very hard time telling myself to stop eating something that taste good. I've been given 2 pieces of advice that I've learned can never apply to me.

First - You only need to take one bite, because only the first bite taste good. The rest are not so good. I tried, but found the rest of the bites taste just as good as the first, sometimes even more so! I've given up on this one.

Second - You only need to take a little bit, don't deny yourself. Once I start, it's difficult to stop. It is easier for me to fast all day than it is to control how much I eat. While I have gotten better at controlling what I've planned on eating for the day, if something unexpected pops up or I decide I'll treat myself just a little, I fall apart. I just have to say to it completely.

I'm going to just ignore these pieces of advice, since they don't seem to apply to me, and continue to deny myself and try to plan ahead!

Crazieness Done!

We celebrated the last birthday party for the girls today. I'm finding it very difficult having 2 girls born 2 weeks apart, although five years apart! We ended up having 3 parties - 2 family and 1 friend for the oldest. I'm not sure what I'll plan for next year, but I'd like it to be a little quieter. The kids had a lot of fun, and the downstairs of my house hasn't ever stayed clean this long, so I guess it was a good thing. I can't believe my baby is actually 6, and the littlest 1! They are getting so big. At times it feels like they are growing up so slowly, especially when they're being punished for the same thing for what seems like the 100th time! Other times, the days seem to fly. My oldest can read already and the youngest is working on walking. I just hope I remember it all.

She can Read!

My Oldest read me her first book this week. It was so exciting listening to her sound out the words and gain confidence as she went a long. Both my husband and I are avid readers. Our children would love to be as well, but Mommy doesn't have the time to spend hours reading to them. Not only am I excited to introduce her to the wonderful world of books and all the worlds they open to exploration, but the Mommy part of me is excited that I have someone who enjoys reading to her siblings! I have a long list of books I'm waiting impatiently to introduce to her, some of my childhood favorites like Ramona Quimby and some new ones I've found like Junie B. Jones! What a great journey we've embarked upon!

Quote of the Day!

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
- Hermann Hesse


This is how I sometimes feel during the day, when dealing with the kids. The, "I want a cookie, Mommy." "We don't have any, sorry." "But, I want a cookie, give me a cookie.", that no amount of arguing with dissuade them believing there are cookies in the house and they are going to get one. Just an example of the strange thinking my children sometimes exhibit. Hopefully they will learn.

Hope's First Words of the Day

I do not have a good idea on what to write for this post. Hope had a funny comment this morning, so I thought I'd post that.

This morning, as I was waking Elizabeth, Hope woke up. I wished her a good morning, quietly. She responded with,

"I'm Thumbalina!"

Deep thoughts, brought on by Max Lucado

I'm working through Max Lucado's study on "Experiencing the Words of Jesus". It's very insightful and thought provoking, as well as inspiring to action! This past week one of the studies jumped out at me. I love the "That's interesting, I wonder" moments I often get while studying the Bible. I get them often. What is rare, for me, is to have a "blow my socks off, knock me on my rear" moments. I enjoy those too, but they often come with a price - an action required on my part.

This time it was on service. I know the whole we are servants to each other and performing service for God. Been there, done that. Max looked at Jesus, washing the disciples feet, just hours before he was crucified.

Point 1 - He knew he was going to die and how he was going to die and everything that entails. I certainly wouldn't have been washing someone else's feet at that point in time. I'd probably be worriedly focused on what was to come and how to get through it. Jesus didn't, instead he chose to take on the role of the lowest of the low servant and wash his disciples feet. The amount of love he had for them, to be able to focus on them and not himself.

Point 2 - He washed Judas' feet. The Judas, who was going to betray Him in a matter of hours! Jesus knew what Judas was going to do. He knew that Judas had sold his life for 20 pieces of silver. And yet, Jesus washed his feet with the same love he showed the other 11 disciples. That just blew me away! First, it showed how much God loves the "unlovable" and unworthy, namely me. Second, this was Jesus' example of how we are to treat all other people. He didn't even have to grit His teeth when he touched Judas' feet. He had such love for Judas, and it shows, even knowing what he knew.

Now comes the struggle. I've seen the example. Been blown away by the implications. Next step, implementing. This will be the hard part. This kind of service does not come naturally for me, especially when it involves people I actively don't like or I know don't like me. It's one thing to serve my family, who I love. To serve strangers. But, it's a whole 'nother ball game to serve someone I know is "bad" or mean to me or has betrayed me, etc. etc.

What am I going to do? I'm going to pray, a lot. That God will fill me with this kind of love, b/c it's going to have to come from Him, since I don't posses even the ability to love like this. That God will bring opportunities to me to show this kind of love, hopefully in small increments. That I'll recognize the opportunity when it comes, what needs to be done, and that I will show it with the same grace as Jesus and not gritting my teeth.

Thumbalina, et al

While out grocery shopping this morning with Amelia and Hope, every time I spoke to Hope, using her name or not, she would respond to me, "I not Hope, I Thumbalina!" I spent the day calling her by her current chosen name.

Shortly before supper, Hope was looking at books. I went over to talk to her, calling her by her chosen name. She showed me some of the pictures that she looking at. In one Princess Jasmine and her father were locked in prison. Pointing to it, she said, "That's me. I locked in jail. What's her name?" I told her, and called her Thumbalina. To which she replied, "I not Thumbalina, I Jasmine!"

Taking on different persona's through out the day is not unusual for my three older children. Not only do they pick a person for themselves, but for everyone else. This can ensure fighting if the others don't agree on their new name. Then, for a period of time, they are that person.

I enjoy watching them try on different people. I watch as they see what personality traits and attitudes they like and want to adopt as their own. Of course, some of those traits and attitudes are not what I want them to pick out, so power struggles happen while I try to excise the bad traits. They have such active imaginations. It is fun to watch them imagine and dream.

Waging War

I feel as if my body and I are waging a war against my baby belly. As I try to watch what I eat and strengthen and tone my body, my belly continues to attempt to fend us off. Starting from my toes, my fingers, and my head, fat layers are slowly being whittled away. Waves of fat reduction travel from the outside in towards my belly. As each successive wave reaches my baby belly, it fights back, holding tighter and tighter onto it's fat. It is fighting a, mostly, loosing battle. I watch as the waves encroach upon the fat stores and nibbles away at the edges. My belly will never win, but I doubt it will ever return to it's pre-4 pregnancy size, but it will decrease in size.

Tea Parties and Pooping Incidents

I had a bi-polar day today, the day, not me. It started out wonderful. Sam and Elizabeth we are my parents house overnight; the had gone to see a play with my Mom and then to spend the night. I got up at 6 am for prayer and meditation moments with Max Lucado. As always, he opened my eyes to something in God's Word I never noticed. I so love learning something new about God everyday!

I had a quiet breakfast, since no one else in the house was up. I did some dishes, folded some laundry, and picked up a little bit before Hope awoke and came down for breakfast. She ate waffles and had just finished when Matt brought Amy down for waffles. Despite having them both up I was still having a great morning. Matt helped me finish getting the house ready for Elizabeth's Birthday Tea.

Elizabeth and Sam arrived home. Sam, Hope, Amy, and Matt left for his parent's and Elizabeth dressed in her princess dress. 6 little girls arrived for tea and cake, ate, opened presents, and ran wild through the house. When they all left, except for my niece who was staying until her parents arrived home from a conference, I was ready for some more quiet time.

Alas, it was not meant to be. Matt arrived home with the other three and then headed out to play a little football with friends. Amy needed to eat and the others watched a movie. Things were still going well, if a bit more than I wanted to do.

Made a quick supper for the kids, mac and cheese. As I was placing the plates on the table and calling the kids, I realized I didn't see Hope. She had been reading books, but she was gone. I set the other 4 kids up with their suppers and told them to be good while I searched for Hope.

I did not have to search far. There she was in front of the upstairs bathroom door, which Elizabeth had locked, holding a pair of poopy stained underwear with no poopy in it. The other hand was held up in the air, covered in poop. I was sent over the deep end. I frantically tried to call Matt to come home and help with the other kids, who I could hear fighting and banging things around, while simultaneously keeping Hope from touching anything with her poopy hand, unlocking the bathroom door, finding where the poopy had ended up, getting the rest of Hope's clothes off, and getting her into the shower.

I could not reach him. After trying him multiple times and calling other people I knew he would be playing football with (it was dark at this point in time so I doubted they were still playing), I finally reached him and told him to come home. Hope was screaming for him in the shower, she hates to get her hair wet.

Matt arrived home and took care of the other 4 kids and their messes from supper. I finished cleaning up Hope, got her into her pjs, and cleaned up the poop (which she had put into the warm mist humidifiers cooling chamber, which parts are soaking in Vinegar in an attempt to remove the rest of the poop, I'm not sure if I'll feel comfortable using it again!)

An hour after the whole pooping incident started, things were mostly clean and back to normal. My niece was picked up by her parents, Hope and Elizabeth were in bed and Sam and Amy were on their way.

I was sitting at my computer, wallowing in pity over my horrible night. Matt encouraged me to head over to a friend's birthday party and have some adult time and chocolate/peanut butter cake. I didn't want to go. I was enjoying my wallow and wanted it to continue. Besides, who wants to be around a wallower. He pushed me out the door, despite my misgivings that I wasn't wanted there in my current state.

He was right. I felt much better after I got there and indulged my need for chocolate and peanut butter. I enjoyed talking with adult friends, especially since the conversation revolved around science and nursing (2 nurses, a PA, vet tech, and radiology assistant will encourage that!).

I never cease to be amazed at how God has things all planned out. He knew the Pooping Incident would occur and how difficult that would be for me after the busy day I'd had. He had a friend plan an early birthday party for their husband, gave Matt the opportunity to get out of the house and play football earlier in the day so he would be willing to let me go out myself. Perfection! (Coicidences orchestrated by God)

Is it really November?

We had yet another beautiful day. We've had more sunny days in November than we did all summer! I've enjoyed not having to bundle the kids up when I take them out places. The coats keep them warm, but are a hassle to buckle into the car seats! I hope this weather continues for a few more months. I enjoy the sunny, but cooler weather.

30-Day Shred, among other things...

Matt pointed out that I haven't blogged, or written, in awhile. I had thought to only write when inspiration hit me, but I never seem to be near my computer when that happens. I'm going to go back to inundating you with daily blogs. Now, aren't you excited?

11 days ago I started the 30-Day Shred. I thought I was going to die at first. It was very hard. 20 minutes of none stop working out. I could barely walk the next day. Here I am at day 11, and level one is actually getting easier. After tomorrow, it's on to level 2! I've tried level 2 a couple of times, with my sister-in-law. She did not like lvl 1, so the past couple of times she worked out with me we did lvl 2. Her husband even tried lvl 1. He said his arms felt like they would fall off the next day!

In other news...
Elizabeth is going to have a tea party this weekend for her birthday. She decided she wanted to invite all the girls in her class. It looks like we will have 9 little girls running around the house on saturday.

Sammy has informed us that he is no longer Sammy, but Sam or Sam C. We try to remember to call him Sam, but he has been Sammy from the day he was born.

Amelia learned to climb the stairs.

Hope tries to take herself to the potty, but never gets there in time... That's a whole 'nother story.

I was in the bookstore the other day and I saw a book written by one of the people I met at the writer's conference this summer. That was really cool.

Push The Button!

Tonight I confessed one of my secret impulse control problems. And, no, it's not eating any kind of food. I like to push buttons, not people's buttons, real buttons, especially if you're not supposed to push them. This is an impulse I control fairly well, better than others (eating chocolate for example!). With the kids around, I have lots of safe buttons I can push to help with the desire to push a button.

I used to work at the Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research. It's on a university campus. In every elevator there is an emergency call button/box/phone/speaker. The elevator in our building had a door you opened. Inside was a speaker and a red button.

One day, while I was riding the elevator alone I had the urge to push the button. You'd think I would have plenty of buttons to push in the lab. Apparently this day there wasn't enough.

I assumed that there would be no one to answer at the other end of the emergency button. I just figured it was there for the fire personnel or police, if there happened to be an emergency.

I pushed the button...A voice spoke to me out of the speaker, "Do you have an emergency?"

To which I replied, after a long delay, "No, I accidentally pushed the button."

Thankfully no one came to check up on me. Guess it helps to be on a college campus.

Did I mention I was 23 yo at the time?

Writing, Finally

I finally wrote a couple of pages in my book this weekend. Might not seem like much to you, but it is a lot to me. Getting even one page in at a time is wonderful! My sister-in-law was kind enough to donate her old lap top to my book, I'll have to remember her in the dedication! I just need to remember to turn it on, and not my main computer. It's way too easy to surf the net, use Facebook, play games, etc, etc.! The difficult part I'm working on right now is finally coming together. I'm just trying not to think about how it will end, and just write little bits at a time.

On another note: The kids enjoyed looking at the moon last night. The little Dude noted that the moon was getting bigger. Last night it was half full. Last time they saw it, it was only about a sliver. Explained, briefly, about how the moon grows bigger and then smaller every month. Not sure how much they were paying attention, but they seemed to absorb it for later.

Garden Goodbye's

This afternoon I finished cleaning out all of my flower beds, getting them ready for the winter. Matt even pruned the crab apple tree for me. This is the first time I've actually cleaned them all out. In past years I was hit or miss. The ones I missed over the years made for easier Falls, but the Spring plantings required more work. Just because you don't clean your gardens out in the fall, doesn't mean you won't have to clean them out sometime, if you want them to remain a garden! It feels good to have one item checked off my list, at least for a few months. As a Mom I have the eternal to do list with jobs that continually need to be redone, even if I did them yesterday. I look forward to the endless mountains of dirty and unfolded clean laundry, stacks of macaroni art dishes, and Lego landmines.

Organizing Thoughts!

I'm working on organizing my, as I call it, growing vine of thoughts. I had a great bible study tonight with Matt on the names of God. We discussed Elohim (elo-HEEM). I was able to talk about some of the thoughts that had been percolating about that, since we do a study in 2 weeks to meditate on it. Then a friend came over who had missed the Ladies retreat and wanted to see my notes. We had a wonderful visit. Talking with her helped me to settle some of the thoughts I had been having about prayer and other sundry things. Now that I've thought about these thoughts, talked with someone about them (it's amazing how even just verbalizing something can make or break it, not to mention the added benefit of someone to respond and point things out you didn't see!) and worked on writing some of my questions and thoughts down I'm pruning the vine to a more manageable size. I think I can now string a few complete, related thoughts together and have them make some kind of sense! Yeah! Unfortunately it is time for bed, so I will have to wait for tom. to see if I can be productive with all this thinking...

At A Loss

I'm having issues with my brain. Not that I haven't been thinking, but thinking too much. One line of thought will spawn another, which will in turn spawn another, until I'm so tangled up in them I don't know up from down. Trying to separate out all the strands to write a coherent thought in any form is very trying right now. I'm glad that these thoughts are interesting and will someday be productive, but right now life in the spider's web is wearing on me. I can only hope my thoughts slow down and organize themselves before I go off the deep end with them coming out my ears. Pray for those I come in contact with, they won't know what hit them!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Woke to about a half of inch of snow on the ground this morning. Matt was very unhappy about this. He doesn't like snow, since it means cold weather, which he doesn't like either. The kids were ecstatic about all the snow! They were so cute running around to the different windows and pointing out all the snow. They couldn't wait for me to dig out all the winter things so they could go outside and walk in it. Listening to them made me so excited as well. The world was much prettier this morning. Better than the mud and bare branches we've been getting. This fall has been fairly blah color wise. Much disappointment in the house when all the snow finally melted.

Elizabethism - When she about 2, and really getting into the idea of snow, we had one last snow storm in April. I explained to her that this would probably be the last snow. She burst into tears, begging me not to let the snow go away. Apparently she thought that there would be no more snow ever and was very disappointed. All the rest of the spring, through the summer, and most of the fall she talked about how sad she was that it wasn't snowing any more. No matter how many times I explained to her that it would snow again later in the year, she didn't seem to believe me. She was so happy when it finally did snow again.

Rewrites

It's late and I need to get up early, but I promise to write a full blog tomorrow evening. I'm going to work on rewriting my latest Dustin Dust-Bunny story. Hopefully you will enjoy seeing the writer piece of me more active. Still frustrated about writing anything new. I do my best writing after 10pm, but have to go to bed early most nights. I have to get up too early and be too with it to care for my children to spend many nights up writing. I'll just have to plan one night or so a week to write. Here's hoping I can carry out this plan!

Not Me Monday

My friend Kristina always post a Not Me Monday. It has inspired me...read on to find out what this day is.

I did not...

• sit my youngest child in her high chair, give her snack, and I did not put in the Fantastic 4: Rise of the silver surfer so I could have peace and quiet while everyone else was gone.
• bribe my children with M & M's, again, while grocery shopping.
• convince my oldest child that her gum would not bleed if she pulled her tooth out early, just so I could get her to stop giving me minute by minute updates of how loose it was.
• go to MOPs grumpy.
• sneak Cindy's home made apple danish when no one was looking.
• roll my eyes at my husband when he told one of his "one-liners"
• forget to write in my story
• leave my youngest child in bed with my husband to snot him up when I set up her humidifier.
• miss any kids while playing dodge ball at Adventure Clubs.
• forget to make a meal for our friend who is having a baby
• do any impulse buying of chocolate at the grocery store, and then eat it all to try and hide it from my husband (who did not find the wrappers in the garbage).

• start singing a song I know gets stuck in my husbands head, in front of him, and I did not only sing half of it...

Hope you enjoyed a Not Me Monday.

Adventures Beneath the Bed: Dustin Dust-Bunny and The Voracioius Vacuum

One of my first Dustin stories. It really should be edited and rewritten, but I'll get to that later!

Every few years or so the Voracious Vacuum would threaten the Dust Bunny world. The roaring of it's hunger would fill the world with noise. Grabbing what they could, the Dust Bunnies would rush to Sacred Place, the Cradle of Life. There, in the exact center of their world they would wait out the onslaught, renewing old acquaintances, meeting new people, educating their children on the origins of their lives.

In the Cradle of Life could be found the Ancient One. The oldest Dust Bunny known. He had survived untouched by the strange creatures that threatened their world, simply by never leaving the Cradle of Life. Here, among the dirt and grim, he lived to protect his descendants as best he could. Teaching those who came to him willingly, and those who found refuge during a Vacuum attack, the history of their people.

Dustin was playing happily at the playground. He had promised his mother he would stay there, and not wander off to explore. That was easy to do this day, since there was nothing interesting going on. He was busy trying to get his swing as high as possible, so he did not notice when the other kids starting looking around for a strange sound. He had just jumped at the apex of his last swing forward when the Vacuum Siren sounded. Startled, he landed hard on the wood chips bellow.

After he caught his breath, he was up and running home. He had only heard the Vacuum Siren once, when some older boys decided to set it off. All he knew, was that it was loud and scary. He arrived home to find his mother frantically throwing clothes, food, and emergency supplies into open boxes.

She shoved one in his arms. “Here, carry this to the car, and then help with the others.”

Having never seen his mother so upset, Dustin complied without complaint. They had the car packed in short order, squeezed themselves in, and then proceeded to join the traffic jam forming on the road to the Cradle of Life. Eventually the joint efforts of the police and military, the jam was sorted out and everyone was able to arrive safely at the Cradle of Life.

Dustin left his mother arguing over a campsite to explore the ruins. He wandered where ever his whim lead him. With much meandering, he slowly made his way to the center. There he found The Ancient One with other young Dust Bunnies. The Ancient One was speaking, telling the tales of the Voracious Vacuum and courageous Dust Bunnies who tried to stop it.

“It has been more than 15 years since the vacuum has appeared. It's coming this time, was just like the others. A subsonic throbbing felt in the bones, then the growing of a roar as it drew closer. Soon it's one glaring eye stabs out of the darkness. It's voracious mouth devouring all in sight with it's rolling teeth. Nothing can stand in it's way. Your homes will be gone, your schools, you stores, you playgrounds all devoured. Here, in the Cradle of Life, we are safe. The Voracious Vacuum can never reach us here, in the center of our world. It tries. Sometimes it succeeds in catching those who do not respect the boundaries of the Cradle, but those are a foolish few. None have returned to tell us more about the beast. We can see the eye and teeth from atop our mountain here, but no more do we know of it. Many have tried and failed. Always, we look for one brave enough, and smart enough, to seek the beast out. If that happened, someday we might know a way to slay the beast.”

The Ancient One continued onto another story, but Dustin wasn't listening. He was imagining a Victory Parade, his Victory Parade. The whole of Dust World (?) would be there to cheer him and his praise his feat. There he was, a top the largest float, holding aloft the heart of the beast. He would not only follow the beast back to it's lair, but he would watch it, discover it's weakness, and then slay it. Dustin smiled faintly with the thought of the Mayor presenting him with the key to the city and all the important people who would come to hear him speak of his adventures.

He sneaked off, avoiding large groups of Dust Bunnies. He quickly made it to the borders of the Cradle of Life. Away from the loud babble of Bunnies, he could hear the roaring of the Vacuum. It grew louder and louder. Soon Dustin could see the glare of it's baleful eye. He watched in awe as the Vacuum made passes at the Cradle of Life. No one seemed to have left the borders, and the beast seemed anger about that. As he watched, Dustin noticed the beast followed a pattern to it's attack. The Voracious Vacuum would dart forward, then pull back in anger as it's teeth ground against nothing. The next forward pass would be parallel to the first, only covering a small swath of the same ground.

Dustin thought, that he could sneak up to the side of the beast, if he kept to the ground it had already been over. He noted it never went back to where it had been. He hid as the eye swept over him. Once he felt it was far enough passed him, he crept out. Running low to the ground he came upon the back left side of the Vacuum. The roar of the beast was deafening here, it was all Dustin could do to keep from panicking and racing back to safety. He kept the vision of his Victory Parade in his mind's eye as he looked for a place to jump on the beast unseen.

Just as he thought he had spied a place, the beast twisted. The glaring eye pinned him in place, and the whirling teeth sucked him in. Dustin was spun, squished, and finally slammed into the wall of the dust canister. All around him debris was being spun through the air. His eyes rolled with the effort to follow the dirt, and soon his stomach rebelled and he heaved his lunch up. After being sick, he found that he could control his stomach by keeping his eyes tightly shut and trying to hold perfectly still.

Suddenly the roaring and spinning abruptly stopped. Dustin opened his eyes in time to see a blinding white light fill the darkness. Stunned and blinded, he never noticed when the canister was removed and the contents dumped into the trash. As luck would have it, being near the top and being so light, he floated out of the trash and landed on the Phantom Shoe. His luck continued as the shoe wandered back to Dust World (?) to entice more Dust Bunnies to play inside.

He woke to the smell of old gym socks, a familiar one to him. Realizing where he was, and thanking his luck, he climbed out of the phantom Shoe. He was soon picked up by the police who delivered him to his frantic mother, after giving him a lecture on ignoring the Vacuum Siren.

copyright 2008

Do The Happy Dance!

The potty training of our two year old has been a struggle. When I potty trained my first born, I thought it would be easy. She was asking to use the potty at 1 1/2. At three she was not only not potty trained, she was refusing to use the potty. Bowing to the wise advice of "What to Expect The Toddler Years", I allowed her to potty train on her own schedule. But, as her third year went by and she said she liked wearing her diaper and she started to hide when she had to do her business, I thought I'd throw the book's advice out the window. It took a month of concentrated effort of taking her to the potty, sometimes kicking and screaming, every 2 hours before she caught on to the whole potty thing.

My son, second born, potty trained in 2 weeks. He was 2 1/2. I decided to wait with him b/c of all the difficulty with my first. One week he spent learning how to pee and poop on the potty, the next when he had to go. After the second week he just started to ask and was dry every time. Did I mention that my oldest had accidents at least weekly until she was 4? My son, I can count the number of accidents he had on one hand.

Now I'm on to the third child. I thought I had it all figured out. Started when she was 2 1/2. She could not seem to figure out how to go on the potty. We sat there for weeks on the potty while she figured it out. Finally, she figured it out. Yeah! Then started the easier task of getting her to hold it for longer than 15 minutes. That only took about a week.

We're going on 6 months here of me taking her to the potty every few hours or so. She very rarely fought me, she likes to use the potty b/c she can take her clothes off. Finally, this week she's figured out when she has to pee and will ask. She's been dry for 2 days straight!!! I know that doesn't mean she will be tomorrow, but she's finally figuring this whole thing out. Now, if she could only learn when she had to poop...

Zumba

I tried Zumba for the first time tonight. I guess it's the "new" aerobics craze sweeping the nation! I don't know if I was swept, but I did enjoy it. I was a little nervous about going, since I haven't worked out since before I got pregnant with my youngest. And even before then I wasn't that good about working out. I did fine. Some of the jumping bothered my knee, but I just made them little jumps and tried to work harder at other things. I'm pleasantly exhausted, but not so much that I feel like I'm going to collapse. I had a good workout and feel great. Will I go back? Yes, but not every week. Thankfully you can pay week to week. For some odd reason the only thing I'm ADD about it working out. I don't like doing the same things over and over. I'll Zumba again, along with a whole slue of other things.

Ladies' Night

I had a great night tonight. Took Elizabeth to see the Scarlet Cord performed by Ballet Magnificat. I try to bring culture to my children's lives, but it's difficult where we live. It was truly amazing to see. I was even moved to tears a couple of times. (If you know me that's very unusual.) Elizabeth loved it, she got to sit on the floor right up front and even got to dance with the Ballerinas when they asked the kids to go forward. My sister-in-law, her daughter, and another friend of ours went as well.

We dropped the girls off at our houses for the husbands to put them to bed. Yeah for great husbands! Then the three ladies went out to Applebee's for dessert and conversations. (We had gotten to the ballet early. My niece says to her Mom. "Mom, there's nothing to do. Did you bring me some toys?" Her mom replied, "Just sit and talk with Elizabeth, that's what ladies do."!)

It was a great night. My sister-in-law is amazing. I'm so in awe of the things she can do and her gift of mercy. Everyone likes her. They may not always agree with her, but I've never met anyone who could say anything bad about her, yet she doesn't compromise her beliefs. And she even likes me, prickles and all. Something I'm not used to.

Our friend is also wonderful. The things I learn from her. I admire her passion for studying the Bible and getting to know God, not just knowing about Him. Her fire is so bright. She is such an encouragement and I can talk to her for hours. She know so much and is great about helping me, in a kind and gentle way.

I am so blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my life. Women who I look up to and admire and often find myself hoping some of their good qualities will rub off on me (I'd like to be more tactful especially!). These amazing women are my friends, enjoy spending time with me, and actually learn from me as well. I'm just in awe of the wonderful women God has brought into my life.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Once again it is raining where I live. This whole past year seems to have been filled with precipitation of some kind or another. I do not mind colder weather or even wet weather, but I despise monotony. I like my weather to change. I like the hot, I feel sick weather, and the it's so cold my nostrils are freezing together weather and everything in between. So, the weather is finally getting to me. We've had this same weather for a year now and I've had enough of it. Why doesn't someone else get the rain, I know they need it more than we do right now.

To cheer myself, and the kids, up, I've been listening to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' sung by Ella Fitzgerald. I love her rendition of this classic song. I especially love the words at the beginning.

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around,
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun,
Just a step beyond the rain

- E.Y. Harburg

Recently a friend's grandmother passed away. There was some sadness, but much rejoicing at her leaving us. While she has left us, she has gone on to a wonderful homecoming. Makes me a little jealous when I actually take the time to read the news and see what a mess our world has become. I can't wait till I take that step over from this world to Heaven. Listening and singing this song reminds me that someday, many of us will take that step to a place beyond the rain. It may be raining outside, but there is sunshine in my heart.

20% and counting

Today I officially have lost 20% of my body weight since January, 30% since the day my youngest child was born! It feels very good to be able to move and fit into my old clothes again. I hope to finish loosing all the baby/post-marriage weight by Christmas, although it's getting tougher now that I've lost so much. It has been an effort.

With the two pounds a week weight loss I thought I would be doing, I should have been done long before now. It has been very hard to control my desires and cravings. I've had to make a conscious effort all day, every day to keep me going and not slip into just eating whatever, whenever. It has been very exhausting, but the longer I stick with it the easier it becomes. What once took lots of planning and calculating and avoidance of the kitchen, has now become almost second nature.

I love food and love to eat so much still. I will never be one of those people who don't have to think about what they eat. I'm hoping I won't have to be obsessive about it or have too think too much on it. I'm hoping it will become a natural part of my lifestyle, with a few slip ups that don't amount to much.

But, I don't Wanna Go To Bed!

No matter how early, or late, we put our older two children to bed we hear this cry. It could be after midnight and they'd still say it. It is also always said just as the child is getting into their pj's. If we've let them stay up late and remind them of this, they insist that they did not stay up late enough and need to stay up later.

Our third child, on the other hand, often puts herself to bed early. She will decide she's tired, ask for her bear and head up and get into bed. This is also the child who rolls over and is instantly asleep. (Wish I could do that!)

Recently I've caught myself saying this same phrase to my husband. Why? I know I'm very tired. I know I have to get up early in the morning. I know I will need to deal with 4 children during the course of the day and all the miscellaneous stuff that goes with them. I know that I'm not actually being productive right now, but I do write better at night if I could rev up my intelligence. Again, Why? My only answer is, peace and quiet. I've even been staying up later than Matt. It's very peaceful with them all in bed. No one demanding anything, no noise. It's just me, doing whatever useless thing I want to do.

I felt guilty for a while that I was accomplishing nothing, for either my family or myself. Then I came across this quote by Max Lucado and it sums up what I've always believed, but couldn't put into words or convince certain people to believe.

"The next time the challenges 'outside' tempt you to shut the door and stay inside, stay long enough to get warm. Then get out."

Elizabethisms

Matt (about Elizabeth being matter of fact tonight): Elizabeth is full of wisdom today.

Elizabeth (to me): I'm full of lots of words today.

Hope Quote

Hope is often very matter of fact when she talks. For example...

Matt: Hope, what's that on your shirt? dirt? chocolate?

Hope, looking down: It's poop. And then she goes off to play.

Sammy's Little Brother

Matt has always wanted Sammy to have a brother. Sammy wants someone to share his room with him and play with him like his boy cousins do. For the most part, he doesn't mind having three sisters. Thankfully one of my nephews, who is the same age, lives only a few blocks away. The two of them play well together and it satisfies Sammy's desire to play active, crazy boy stuff. I'm very grateful that my nephews parents decided to stay in the area, and their son is one of those reasons.

Meanwhile, Matt and I wanted to get our children involved with missions and helping out others. With the kids being little, we are limited in ways we can help. Currently we try to help by providing meals for people who might need it, helping other parents by watching their kids, and trying to demonstrate common courtesies to strangers.

Yesterday we decided on one more step. We wanted to expose our children to ministering to people who live in other areas. Heading over to the Compassion International website, Sammy picked out our Compassion child. He now has a "brother" who lives in Indonesia. He is very excited about him and can't wait to send and receive letters from him. Both he and Elizabeth will be helping to support this little boy. They both receive tokens for the extra chores that they do around the house. Each month they will donate tokens to our Compassion child to help support him. They also will be writing some of the letters.

I'm excited to see them be excited for this new adventure and look forward to watch our new "son" grow through the years.

Creativity/Creation

My husband often tells me I have too many "projects" going at one time. He doesn't seem to understand the need I have to create things. Whether it's knitting, cross stitch, writing, gardening, planning parties for the kids, or making some new culinary delight I love to create. Even if no one appreciates it, or even sees it, does not seem to matter, although there are times I enjoy having people know what I've done. It's growing to be an obsession of mine, learn something new and create from that knowledge.

Most people I know have the same drive, maybe not as insistently as I do, but they have it, even my husband. My kids do, they build with Legos and blocks, pretend play, and even color to create. Where does this desire come from that drives us to create things, even if no one sees them but ourselves?

Our Creator has placed his thumbprint upon us. He loves creating, just from the shearer enjoyment of it. I believe He placed this desire in us. In our small creations, we can understand His love of creating and can identify with Him. Just one more way that He shows Himself to us and shows that He is not just some distant, uncaring being.

Quotes of the day

What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.
- Vilhjalmur Stefansson

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
- Jane Caminos

Purge and Toss

It is so nice to purge and toss things. Old things. Broken things. Redundant things. Toys, ideas, moldy food, magazines, books, shoes, etc., etc. Today I tossed, will be sending to the Salvation Army, clothes. It felt so good. Not only to clean out and organize, but to enjoy the fact that I can no longer fit into those clothes. They are all too big. Some of the pants I can't keep up without holding on to them. It is so exciting! I will need to purchase clothes for next summer, yeah! While I have enough clothes for the fall, as of now, I plan on continuing to loose all of this extra baby weight. As I continue to loose, I will continue to have clothes that no longer fit me. I'm hoping that by Christmas I will have, not want, but need to go shopping for new winter clothes. My ultimate goal is to be able to fit into my wedding dress next year, for out ten year anniversary! I will be able to do that, just need to keep at it.

Slacker!

I'm officially a slacker. Here I promised I'd post something everyday, and it's been 3 since I last posted. I'd like to apologize and promise that I'll do better. I've been busy, as usual. School for Elizabeth and Samuel, potty training for Hope, two new teeth for Amelia, sorting out winter clothes for Hope and Amelia, decided what clothes I need to buy for all the kids, knitting for Christmas, hiking, church, working on the October newsletter, starting to winterize my gardens, everyday Mommy/house wife stuff, and I actually did write once this past week.

This week looks to be about the same. Hopefully Amelia won't be teething. She is the worst kid I've had, cried and cries and cries. Doesn't want to be put down. Doesn't want to be held. Doesn't want to sleep. Doesn't want to be awake. The list is endless. Last night she was up at least once an hour, whining for about 5 minutes and then going back to sleep. So, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Planning on going to bed early tonight. Will do some more knitting and then off to bed I'll go.

Here's a thought for the day: Where did viruses come from? I know there are beneficial viruses in nature, but where did ones like the cold, flu, Ebola, the plague, etc. come from. My current, have no way to support at all, hypothesis for my book: They originally were made by men pre-flod (aka antediluvian) for biological warfare. We can make them, why not them? Almost perfect physically people must have been much smarter than we are, and more technologically advanced than we are. There were 1500 years between the creation of man and the flood, according to a literal interpretation of the scriptures. Look how far we've come in the past 100 years, and we are nowhere near as perfect physically as they were. Just want to make you think.

Quote of the Day

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
- Doug Larson

Writing

I'm going to actually write in my book. The part I'm working on now I know where it needs to go, just need to get there. It's not very pretty right now, just want to get it done. Then I'll flesh it out a little better.

Also have a sick child and one who is teething! So much fun abounds at my house!

MOPs, at last!

The first MOPs meeting of this school year was held today! It was so exciting to be back, to see people I haven't seen since May, to meet new moms, and see how big everyone's kids have grown! Such a good time. It looks like it will be a great year. The first Wednesday of October is too far away. I don't want to wait that long before I go back. But, I guess I don't get much choice. If you're a Mother Of a Preschooler, or want to be a mother, or will be a mother soon, check out MOPs. It's a great place to go. Lots of encouragement, lots of advice, lots of women who are experiencing what you're are going through right now.

In other news...

I wrote one paragraph in my book today, before I was harassed by my children. I tried making mozzarella sticks, didn't work out so well. Gave my niece her first piano lesson with me. Planned individual time with the kids for the next month. Pureed squash, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, and broccoli to freeze and eventually cook with. Found out I love my food processor (which I received as a wedding present and have never used!).

Interesting People

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
- Alan Corenk


A very sad statement about our culture. We are loosing touch with people, and loosing our people skills in the process. We all wonder why other people are doing the annoying/stupid thing they are doing. I believe it all boils down to the fact that we are loosing our ability to interact politely and to deal with things not being the way we want them to be, life isn't perfectly scripted.

When my great-grandmother was my age she would have visiting days. There were days when she visited other people and days when other people visited her. She knew which day was which and planned her schedule around it (and made sure she had a treat ready for those who were visiting her). The visiting was important, others were important.

As a society we are so caught up in ourselves and our business that we forget about other people. Life isn't about doing or getting, it's about being and relationships. God tells us to store up treasures that last, treasures in heaven. He's not talking about gold, or medals, or awards, titles, degrees. He's speaking about people. Jesus did not come to earn his degree, buy a big house, rule the world. Jesus came to meet people, to listen to them, to help them, to show them the Truth so that they could spend eternity getting to know Him and each other.

You want to be like Jesus? Love and obey God, and put others first - that's true Love.

First One Done

I finally was able to print the first edition of our church's newsletter. The September issue is hot off the press at our church, if you'd like a copy. I enjoyed putting it together and seeing the finished product. Now I'm just waiting to see what people thought about it. I've already started gathering information for October's issue. It will probably be longer than the first one, since more people have mentioned they have information to give me. I look forward to seeing what other people have written and organizing it. It was very satisfying to me to complete a project, something I have not done in a long time. I guess it is time to push through some of the other projects I'm currently working on.

Wedding Bells

Matt and I attended my cousin Dustin's wedding this afternoon. We had a good time. Matt's parents kept our kids for us, even putting them to bed, yeah! It was a nice wedding, if a bit unorganized. I was able to talk to cousins I see only a few times a year, who I'd like to see more often. Hopefully I'll start to do better contacting them.

It was strange to see my cousin get married. I still see him as that little boy, destroying his rented tux at another wedding. It is hard to remember that my life isn't the only life that's moved forward. It is also hard to realize how old everyone has gotten, since our family does not get together as often as it once did. I am blessed that we saw each other as much as we did while I was growing up, but feel saddened because my youngest cousins have missed out on some of that. As the older ones have gotten married and moved on, as my grandparents retired and moved away, finding time to get together like we used to grew harder and harder. I guess it happens with everyone, but I do miss it.

“To Be One With Each Other” by George Eliot

What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,
to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the
silent unspoken memories?

I wish you lots of love and luck, Dustin and Brandie.

Insignificant

‘My Life is insignificant in God’s plan for the world.’ Those words often swirl through my brain. ‘I’m nothing much, just a speck in the great cosmos.’ A stay-at-home-Mom, my worth is nothing special to the majority of people. I also do not have a grand testimony. I was not rescued from the depths of deepest, darkest sin. What impact can my life have?

I’m not alone in thinking this. The majority of Christians feel this way at some point in their lives.

We quietly go about our day, listening to that insidious voice telling us that we are insignificant, that we have no great testimony to tell, and that we have no great feats to our credit. That voice paralyzes us, and causes us to shy away from other Christians and even God. That voice originates in Satan, who is trying, very successfully, to cripple God’s people.

As I listen to this voice, another voice is soon heard, whispering gently to my soul. It is much quieter than the first, but it causes me to rebel against the voice of Satan. The whispering voice reminds me who I really am. I am chosen of God, saved by Jesus, and held by the Spirit. While I am still a speck in the cosmos, I am a very special speck, only because God chose me to be. His whispering voice reminds me that anything He does, no matter if it’s “little” or “big” according to the world, is special.

So, for a few days I feel special. What I do matters, even if it impacts only one life. Do I do anything to keep this feeling, to continue to listen to the whispering voice? No. Does this feeling last? No. After awhile I start listening to Satan’s voice. Then God’s whisper captures me again. An endless cycle, that constantly repeats itself through the weeks and years of my life. A stagnant rut I have dug for myself.

‘This time will be different though,’ I promise myself. But how? While I’m still trying to find the perfect answer, I have found a few things I should do. First, and always first, I need to talk to God everyday, in a relationship manor and not an ‘I want’ way. Second, I need to memorize memory verses that tell me God’s worth and my purpose in life. That way I have a good answer for Satan’s voice when he asks me what good I am. Third, I need to list the ways God blesses me, works in my life, including the mundane things. Four, I need to share this list with others and encourage them to do the same.

Will I ever fall back into that rut? I hope not, but if I do, I will have those lists to read over, and as always, that whispering voice.

Accelerated Chaos

We sent Sammy off to his second year of preschool today. He was so excited. He had a great day. He is my noisy one, so the house was very quiet with him gone this morning. It was just the two little ones for 2 1/2 hours. Very strange. I did enjoy the time I could spend with just the two of them. I'm looking forward to getting to know them better, without their older siblings around to answer for them and do everything for them.

Life seems to be accelerating for us. One in Kindergarten, one will go next year, and the third will be in preschool next year. There will be some mornings when I will only have one child. That will be strange. My sister-in-law's favorite quote "These are the longest days, and the shortest years." Very true.

Even now we find it hard to slow things down to spend time with each other. It takes a conscious effort to have times where there is nothing planned for us to do. Matt and I would like to be minimalist, hard to do when you have four kids, but we do our best, especially when it comes to activities. We want our children involved in things, and we know it will get crazy someday, but we still want to keep extras to a minimum.

A slower paced lifestyle is more important to us. Time to spend together, with other family and friends. Time to rejuvenate and refresh ourselves. We don't need to have something planned every minute of the day.

Having this motivation in life makes living in this world very hard. While the rest of the world tries to bury the emptiness it feels in doing, we find ourselves being cut off from the One person that fills that emptiness. What a deception Satan has painted for out culture. He blinds us to the emptiness. He promotes an accelerated lifestyle to hid the emptiness. If our eyes could be opened to see how empty things really are. If we could slow down enough to find the One who can fill the emptiness, the peace that would spread through each individual person is amazing. Many love to quote it, but rarely do it, "Take time to stop and smell the roses." or better yet, "Take time to stop."

Mountain Top Moment

This afternoon we headed over to one of our state parks to play and have a picnic with people from our church. Matt and I invited my Mom, my sister and her family to play with our kids one last time before school started and our days weren't so free. We had a great time with them, and with those from our church at supper.

In the afternoon we went for a hike. The kids love to hike, but hate to walk. I don't understand that, but try to overlook it. We walked the gorge trail up to the scenic overlook. I walked a mile and half with 20 extra pounds, in the form of Amelia, strapped to my back. It was quite a hike. The kids did very well, for the most part.

There are some very steep sections, some with stairs and some without. It was a perfect day for a hike, cool and partly cloudy. It was very beautiful. I love walking up to the falls.

To reach the scenic overlook, you must walk up a very steep incline. After all the walking that came before, this was a big challenge for most of us. Some of the people from church started to discuss about those Mountain Top moments with Jesus. While walking up this section, one woman said "Jesus is also in the valley!" At this point in time the mountain top did not seem worth the physical effort to get there.

We finally made it to the top. As we walked around the scenic overlook, we decided the last push was worth it.

It was a beautiful picture of walking with Jesus. Flat places - time to rest and re-gather your energy. Bridges - aha! moments when you grow in an instant. Stairs - stretching growing time, not easy, but not too painful. Muddy spots/shale - very easy to slip here and backslide a long way, or even over the edge! Beautiful scenery - breath taking and awe inspiring, but don't look too exclusively b/c you might hit an unseen muddy spot! Sleep inclines - often the last push to the top, very challenging, often feel it is not worth the effort, painful, frustrating, agonizing, etc., etc. The scenic overlook/mountain top - While you may feel like giving up sometimes, the Mountain top is worth the effort, scenery more beautiful than before, and a feeling of accomplishment - which is what I think makes those mountain top moments the best. The sense that you pushed through and kept going. I finally made it!

My Buddy and Me!

Hope and my nephew, who is the same age, are best buddies. Born only a few months apart they are like Yin and Yang, but very close. They always greet each other with a hug and refer to each other as My Buddy. Hope will often try to escape when we are outside to run to her buddy's house. Once she made it to the corner before I caught her! Their hugs have gotten crazy, one of these days they'll hurt each other. Hope often cries when her buddy leaves her. She doesn't like to be parted.

Yin and Yang - one dark, the other light. one female, the other male. one quiet, one loud, one destructive, the other chaotic. one slow, the other fast. one shy, the other not. both very loving, both full of laughter, and both very sweet.

I enjoy watching the love and enjoyment they have for each other. I can't wait to watch their relationship grow. I've always believed it very important to have a friend who has grown up with you that you can say anything to and they know where you're coming from. I'm fortunate to have that and very grateful that all my children will have that as well. But, look out to the girl/boyfriend that will get in the way of Hope and her cousin's relationship!

Sleeping on The Floor

Matt has been uncomfortable on our mattress for a long time. Between him tossing and turning and Amelia waking up at least twice a night, I have not been able to sleep well. I did have two weeks this summer where I slept very well and felt very rested - the Writer's Conference and at my brother's.

Amelia went with me to the conference, she did wake up twice a night then as well. My whole family was with me at my brother's house, so I was also woken up twice a night there. The biggest difference was Matt. He did not attend the conference with me, so no one tossed and turned in my bed all night. We slept on a futon mattress on the floor at my brother's, Matt slept well there.

With those two experiences in mind, I purchased a futon mattress. It arrived today, so I will know by tomorrow if it will work better for us than a regular bed. I'm hoping to have a platform bed soon to sleep on, but for now, we are on the floor. The kids think this is great fun. I will wait and see.

In other news: I finished the church newsletter today and I'm hoping to have it printed out tomorrow. It looks good. My laptop is dying, but I believe I have all my writing on my flash drive, except maybe for the most recent stuff. I really don't need one right now, but would like to have one for the conference next year.

New Room for Baby

Poor Amelia is going to learn how to sleep through the night. At one point in time she was doing so, but then decided she didn't want to. Currently she awakes at least once, up to six times a night! She's almost a year old, so I believe it is time for her to learn.

We've tried to work on sleeping through the night in the past. She's been sharing a room with the other two girls. Neither one of them appreciated being woken by Amelia's crying. She never cried very hard, but enough to awaken them enough for them to yell out that she was crying. After that point in time, there was no way she would be going back to sleep on her own.

We finally cleaned out the sewing room and moved her crib in there. We'll have to see how she handles it and what Mommy ends up doing when she wakes up. I'm hoping I'm not going to be on autopilot and still pick her up before I realize what I'm doing. I'm hoping, also, that this will only take a few nights and then she can move back into the room with her sisters and I can have my sewing room back.

In other news: I have all the information for the newsletter. I now just have to actually put it into newsletter form. I'm hoping to be able to do that tomorrow so that I can have it ready for Sunday. I still have not written much in my book, and subsequently have had difficulty falling asleep. I just need to push on through this fear. In a positive note, MOPs starts in a few weeks and I'm looking forward to the kick of picnic.

“Dying With Dignity?”

Sacred - “Worthy of respect”¹

Some people speak of the “Sanctity of Life”, for them, the sacredness of life before birth. I often wonder about the other end of life, death. Those who are dying also need to be treated with dignity. Their lives are just as sacred as anyone else’s. During my time in nursing school, and as a registered nurse in the hospital I often saw the dignity of a dying individual's life ignored.

I first came to notice this lack of dignity as a nursing student. I was a non-traditional student, having attained a bachelor's in Biology and working a few years at the Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research, before deciding to become a nurse. Until then I had not considered much about the dying and they way the end of their lives were treated.

During my first hospital rotation as a student, I spent time training on a medical floor. This medical floor, like all medical floors in the country, mostly cared for the elderly who were often in the hospital for months at a time. The majority were in one stage of dying or another. One of my first patients was an elderly Chinese man. His wife was at his bedside as often as she was allowed. She did not speak any English, so we relied on a translator, and her son when he was available.

It was debatable if the man knew what was going on around him. He did notice his wife, however. When she talked to him, he always smiled. He would die, probably within the next week. His lungs were not working well, so he was on oxygen. The normal nasal cannulas were not able to deliver enough oxygen, so the doctor wanted to use a mask. The man did not like this. He fought the mask every time, which caused his wife distress.

When I asked the doctor why he wanted to push the mask on the patient, even though it obviously caused the patient signs of distress, he replied that it would extend the mans life by two weeks. I questioned the nurses on why you would basically harass someone who is dying, just for an extra two weeks. They were scandalized. How could I suggest that we just “let” the patient die? We needed to do everything possible to save his life. If the man wanted to die, I was told, he would be in Hospice or at home. He and his family obviously wanted him to live, so the hospital staff was going to do everything in their power to keep him alive. They never did ask the patient’s wife if she wanted the mask to be used, they just told her “it needs to be done”.

When I looked into the case further, I found no one had talked to the wife, or his family, about letting her husband die in peace, naturally. It was not a choice they were willing to give her. Needless to say, the man spent his last days fighting the nurses and aides over the use of that mask. His few peaceful times of resting quietly while holding his wife’s hand were few and far between, and even denied him at the end.

Many people in the medical field have an aversion to death, or dying patients. They hate to see their own mortality staring them in the face. The drive to prove that people can be kept alive, no matter what, is very strong in them. Thankfully Hospice, and its ideas, are becoming a more viable choice for many. As the population of the world ages, it is important that we encourage those in the medical profession to be trained in end of life care, and the sanctity of life.

¹ The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 19 Oct. 2006.

Copyright 2008

The Beginning of An Era

Today was Elizabeth's first day of Kindergarten. A first for the whole family. It is amazing how one day can change someone. Yesterday she was my little girl, today she's a Kindergartner and much bigger already. She walked in and set herself up like she had been attending school her whole life. Which doesn't surprise me, since she's been asking to go to school since she was 2!

She loved her first day and can't wait to go back tomorrow. It will be interesting for me to have to take her, with the other three in tow, by myself. Matt stayed home today to see her go and help clean the house.

It was a different day for us. Still very noisy, she's the quieter one. I think Sammy missed having her to play with him. But, with Matt home, I don't think it will hit him until tomorrow. Hope and Amelia didn't really seem to notice. I missed her, but was glad she had reached one of her goals. A bittersweet moment. She's getting so big and independent. I miss her as she was, but can't wait to see what she becomes.

It is not Writer's Block, it is fear!

I have not written anything for my book in a few weeks. It sits there, taunting me. It is not writer's block. I know what needs to be written and what the next step will be. I can't get this vision out of my head, it won't leave me alone.

I still haven't written about it. I'm afraid. My perfectly planned story has taken on a life of its own. It has veered off course, and now I am quite lost. I always seem to know the next step, but not the final chapter. It's very disconcerting. Almost like this isn't really my story, but someone else's, who happens to also be in my head. Very weird.

I should write tonight. Even ten minutes of writing means I can fall asleep in a few minutes, instead of a few hours. Plot lines, characters, stories run through my head and keep me awake at night if I haven't written during the day. I thought my blog could help, but it doesn't keep the ideas away.

Ode to The Smell

There is a smell,
I can not find.

Upon opening the front door,
the smell reaches my nose.
It is a smell unlike any other.

The run down of offending odors
I know
flow through my brain.

Wet Diaper
Messy Diaper
Smelly Sock
Dirty Feet
Un-flushed Toilet
Days Old Wet Clothes in Washer
Unwashed Children
Unwashed Dog
Over Flowing Garbage
Burnt Toast
Sweaty Softball Player

None match the smell that assaults me.

There is a smell
I cannot find.

Finally,
a week passes,
the smell passes.

A month later...

...a moldy slice of an unidentifiable fruit,
stuck under the couch,
by my son.


Copyright 2008

The end of the Summer of Adventure!

The Summer of Adventures has ended! On to the start of the Fall Experiences!

We spend the "last" weekend of the summer visiting Matt's family. We had a great time. Thursday night we left home at 7pm to visit Matt's sister Hannah and her family in PA. Samuel, Hope,and Amelia slept most of the way down. Elizabeth has not fallen asleep in the car on long rides in a long time, this trip was no different. She talks a blue streak!

We quickly settled into Hannah's house that night. The next morning her oldest son, who is the same age as Samuel, was so excited and surprised at who had shown up in his room overnight! He and Samuel were very loud. We spent Friday and Saturday at their house, relaxing as much as one can with 7 kids around and enjoying our time with them.

It rained all day Friday, so we were all trapped inside. When we finally couldn't take the kids any longer Matt, Jamie, and myself ran off to Chick-Fil-A with 5 of the kids. Great food and a great play place! The other three we left at home to nap. I'd never been to Chick-Fil-A, although I had seen their cow advertisements.
Wish we had one closer to us. And I now know it's pronounced Chick fillet, and not Chick Fil Ah.

Saturday Matt's parents came down for our nephew's birthday. We knew it was time to head on out to our next destination, so left in the afternoon for NJ and a different kind of relaxation.

Matt's brother Adam works for a minor league baseball team. He got tickets for Matt, Elizabeth, and Samuel. The kids went to their first professional baseball game. Matt and I both enjoy baseball, although one of us more than the other. We wanted to introduce our kids to the National Past time. This was the perfect opportunity. They had a ton of fun at the game and seeing Uncle Adam at his work and eating funnel cake.

The younger girls and I stayed home with Aunt Becky at their one bedroom apartment! It was very relaxing and I love their apartment. I'm going to need Becky to come to my house and do some color coordinating for me, she does a great job.

Matt and the kids returned home without Adam, who stayed for the second game of a doubleheader. Managed to get all the kids to bed at a reasonable hour and then spent 30 min. trying to decide where to order pizza from. I wanted NY pizza, so we went with a pizza place around the corner. Matt had never eaten NY style pizza, so I hoped the pizza was good. I was not disappointed. It was better than Papa John's! I won't be able to eat pizza from here for awhile, I'll be too disappointed.

Got up this morning, Adam made the kids breakfast and then took Samuel and I to a bakery to pick up breakfast for the adults. Yummy! I would be very fat and very broke if I lived where they do! So many good restaurants within walking distance and reasonable driving distance.

The kids, Matt, and Adam played Wii, then we headed over to a local park to play and have lunch. Adam had another game that afternoon, so we said our good byes and headed home.

Now it's on to the Fall Experience. Elizabeth starts school this week and Samuel starts school next week. MOPs starts up in a few more weeks and swim lessons and piano lessons! Here I thought things would slow down a little bit. I'm going to need a personal assistant just to keep our schedules organized! It will be fun though.

Sleepy Success!

I worked hard today, physically at least. The kids went to their Grandmother's while I cleaned the upstairs. That is not something I do often. We don't spend much time up there, except to sleep and get dressed. With the kids home it often takes me a week to clean even a small amount. They feel the need to be with me when I clean upstairs. While I'm cleaning on corner, they're in another making a bigger mess. So today was nice. My house hasn't been this organized since we moved here six years ago!

I have not written much lately. I've been so tired. I think I'm going to need to just suck it up and stay up late a few nights and just write. I actually know what I'm going to write, I just need to do it. Probably not tonight though.

Sammy-ism: The kids like to find the moon at night. Sammy keeps trying to figure out why it looks like the clouds and moon seem to follow him everywhere he goes. I've explained to him many times about how distance makes something look like it follows you. His reply is normally one of two things 1. "The clouds follow me because they like/love me." or 2. "The moon follows me because I'm cute." He is very cute, so maybe they are following him around.

Bonfires and Road Signs

We spent the afternoon and evening at my parent's house. What a great time to relax and enjoy my family. My brother and his family where visiting, so it was even nicer. The kids were excellent. Well, as excellent they can be at their age. We ended the evening with a bonfire and sing-a-long. A nice end to the summer as everyone starts to prepare for going back to school in the next few weeks.

On the way home Elizabeth was very chatty. She likes to talk in the car. Probably because that is the only time she has that Mommy can't escape or be distracted very much by the other kids. She asks some tough questions, about everything.

She's been noticing the road signs recently. I did not realize just how many road signs and reflectors there are along the roads. I think she pointed out almost every single one of them. It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, a road sign is worth at least a thousand when you explain what they mean to a five year old. Often you use more, since you have to go into all the back detail about driving!

Her best question tonight: She pointed out a sign that meant a signal ahead. She asked what it was for. I explained it to her. She then asked, "But why do they need a sign for it when we can see it from here?" Many different answers popped into my head. I went with the simplest. That perhaps a tree branch had obscured the stop light from farther back, so they put up the sign and then at a later date cut the tree branch down.

I was greatly surprised by all the road signs used. I've often complained that there aren't enough road signs, at times. If I looked hard enough, I could see that there are plenty of road signs with all the information I need to traverse the various highways.

It made me stop and think about my life. Life is sometimes depicted as a road. I always ask for more road signs. God has plans for my life. I'd like to know what they are. I often complain that there are not enough road signs and that the ones there need to be clearer. Maybe I'm looking at things wrong. God doesn't give us a specific map to our destination. He does provide road signs along the way. They are plentiful, if I pay attention. And they also give me all the information I need, maybe not all I want, to travel the correct pathway.

Adventures Beneath the Bed: Dustin Dust-Bunny and the Phantom Shoe

Dustin Dust Bunny went out to play His mother warned him to avoid The Phantom Shoe. He promised, with fingers crossed. When all the old ideas were spent, Dustin spied The Phantom Shoe, laying on its side. He pulled and shook the laces snaked upon the ground, then scurried inside. As his tail whipped out of sight, The Wandering Hand appeared and snatched up The Phantom Shoe. Later, a rather squashed Dustin was seen sneaking home. Although begged to tell of his adventures, he kept his silence. All through his life, though, he smelled faintly of old gym socks.

(My first attempt at Flash Fiction)

Copyright 2008

Picnic Time and Spiritual Gifts

We had a wonderful afternoon at the park. My parent's church planned their annual picnic there. The older three kids love to go to their church, so we headed over for the afternoon. They are always very welcoming. We spent the afternoon playing on the playground with the different kids, my parents, grandmother, and my sister's family. Very relaxing and very enjoyable.

That erased the frustration of this morning. In Sunday School we are discussing spiritual gifts. There are many tests you can take and many studies to go through on this subject. I find myself very frustrated because every time I am labeled with a different spiritual gift. I find it very hard to use my gift, whatever it is, because I cannot discover which one I actually have as my primary gift. I guess I will continue to wade through all the information and maybe this time I will find something of practical use.

Wheezes and Whines

A stay at home mom never has a weekend. Saturday and Sunday (if you don't go to church) are just the same as every other day. The kids don't sleep in, they like the same schedule, and the housework can't be forgot or it multiplies.

Today was just like the rest of the week. One of the kids was sick and whiny, the rest were just whiny. I did get all the currently clean laundry folded, of course I've washed more so now there is more to fold. I hate folding laundry. It ranks right up there with washing dishes.

The kid who was sick - Hope. I think she might be on her way to having asthma. Every time she has a cold she sounds like a 50 year long smoker - hacking and wheezing. I had to nebulize her twice last night, and once today. The two of us also were up for 2 hours together last night. Well, I hadn't been able to get to bed, so I guess she was the only one actually up for 2 hours. Hopefully we don't have a repeat tonight. I haven't had a good night's sleep, or over 4 hours, since Amelia was born. It's beginning to wear on me.

Twists and Turns - When your plot takes on a life of its own!

I've been a little stuck with my current story. It's an Alternate History (sci-fi) story that takes place before the Flood. I'm having plenty of trouble developing cultures for a time period where not much is known. On top of that, there is a lot of science involved and lots of extinct creatures. This is the third time my story has taken on a "life of it's own." It can be very disconcerting when this happens. It almost feels like I have multiple personalities.

First time this happened a sub-plot was added with some unsavory characters. I was floored when I was typing and this all came out. It was not in my plan for my story.

Second time. I had a professional author suggest I take one of my flash backs and build it into a prologue or a live action event. I thought I can do that. It's not much longer than a prologue should be. I think I'm into the third chapter of it.

Most recently, aka today, the third event happened. I'm working on the prologue/who knows what. I know where it's going and what will happen. I've even worked out how to connect it with the first part I wrote. I'm trying to add in some of the evil that the Bible says permeated the world during this time period. It has been very hard for me to work that in with the characters and location I have. Today, as I'm changing laundry from the washer to the dryer an idea hit me. I have to write a section from the "evil" point of view. It was kind of scary, since this was nothing I had even remotely considered nor could I see my story going in this direction.

I'm finishing up the "prologue" and then I'll start working on this evil bit. I've already thought of several ideas to throw in. Who knows what the next plot twist will be, or where it will come from!

The Light Sleeper and The Noisy Sleepers

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Infant Princess. Beloved and adored by all who knew her. Her hair shone like the rising sun. Her eyes grew dark as freshly turned earth. Her checks, round and soft as peaches, begged to be kissed. Her lips, a little rose bud, opened into a brilliant smile. She grew day by day, stronger, taller, and smarter.

The Infant Princess had two older sisters. They doted on the Infant Princess. The Eldest helped the Queen care for the Infant Princess. She brought diapers, wipes, tissues, and blankets. The Eldest aided the Queen joyfully and received much praise for all her help.

The Second Eldest, while not old enough to help, brought the Infant Princess toys, hugs, and kisses. She took pride in making the Infant Princess smile and talk.

During the day life sped by, mostly smooth. The night, on the other hand, presented the Queen with difficulties.

One by one the Princesses dressed for bed, brushed their teeth and tresses. The Queen read to them from an assortment of books, sang bedtime songs, and kissed them good-night. Swiftly and quietly the Eldest and Second Eldest Princesses slipped into a pleasant slumber.

The Infant Princess, however, needed to be snuggled and nursed before falling into slumber. Finally, all three of the princesses slept peacefully in their chamber.

The three princesses loved each other very much and could not bear to be parted, even in sleep. Thus, they shared a chamber in one of the towers of the palace.

All would be well, until the Queen decided to retire. At the precise moment her foot stepped upon the floor of her chamber disaster would befall her.

Many different formats occurred on different nights, but this is what often happened.

The Second Eldest Princess fell out of bed. The Queen rushed in to rescue her from the floor. Setting her gently back into her bed, the Queen covered her and made sure her royal stuffed bear was withing her arms. Kisses her softly on the head, the Queen attempted to slip out.

Just as the door clicked closed the Infant Princess awoke. The Queen hear her first whimpers. Hoping they signified all that The Infant Princess would vocalize, she quietly made her way to her own chambers.

Alas, this was not to be. The Infant Princess continued to whimper, each time louder than the last. The Queen, still holding on to the hope that each whimper would be the last, dressed for bed. As she laid her weary head upon her pillow, the Infant Princess erupted into full wails of distress.

The Queen rose from her bed and made her way back to the princesses' chamber. Gathering the Infant Princess into her arms, the Queen carried her back to the Queens chamber. Within a few moments the Queen succeeded in calming the Infant Princess.

Thinking her soundly asleep, the Queen swiftly, but silently, returned her to her royal crib. With a sigh of relief the Queen closed the chamber door, walked back to her own chamber, and laid her head back upon her pillow.

Just when the Queen allowed herself to relax, the Infant Princess began to whimper again. Holding her breath, the Queen listened as the time between whimpers extended. A whoosh accompanied the exhaled breath, and so did a cry from the Eldest Princess.

Rolling her eyes heaven ward, the Queen prayed for the Infant Princess to stay asleep. Like most nights, this prayer was answered negatively.

Rising again from her bed, the Queen walked to the Princesses room, gathered the Infant Princess into her arms, and, this time, walked to the library.

The Queen lit a small candle and selected a think tome. Settling herself into a squishy arm chair, the Queen nestled the Infant Princess against her body. The Infant Princess snuggled in and the Queen read a few pages.

Finally, after the Queen decided the Infant Princess was truly asleep, she made her way back to the princesses chamber, placed the sleeping Infant Princess into her royal crib, returned to her own chamber, and slipped beneath the covers of her bed.

The Queen waited for a whimper, a cry, or a thud. When none appeared, she closed her eyes for sleep. Unfortunately, by this time the Queen was no longer sleepy herself. After tossing and turning a few minutes, she returned to her book and read deep into the night.

The next morning the Queen appeared at breakfast with dark circles under eyes. The King glared at them, then at the three princesses.

“I am issuing a decree,” he said. “From now on the Princesses will sleep in separate chambers.”

The two elder princesses voiced their horror over this decision and protested it vehemently. The King refused to be swayed. He ordered the servants to move two of the princesses to separate chambers.

Upon leaving for his kingly duties he warned the Queen not to let the princesses return to one room. He also reminded the three princesses that if they disobeyed his decree they would be punished. Hanging their heads, the two elder princesses promised to obey.

That night, when she laid her head down on her pillow, the Queen listened intently for any noise from the princesses. She heard nothing. Sleep finally found her still waiting.

The next morning, the Queen awoke well rested and refreshed. The dark circles under her eyes had vanished in the night. The three princesses declared the Kings decree a splendid thing, for each of them had slept the most peaceful sleep they had ever slept.

And they all lived happily ever after.

copyright August 20, 2009