Insignificant

‘My Life is insignificant in God’s plan for the world.’ Those words often swirl through my brain. ‘I’m nothing much, just a speck in the great cosmos.’ A stay-at-home-Mom, my worth is nothing special to the majority of people. I also do not have a grand testimony. I was not rescued from the depths of deepest, darkest sin. What impact can my life have?

I’m not alone in thinking this. The majority of Christians feel this way at some point in their lives.

We quietly go about our day, listening to that insidious voice telling us that we are insignificant, that we have no great testimony to tell, and that we have no great feats to our credit. That voice paralyzes us, and causes us to shy away from other Christians and even God. That voice originates in Satan, who is trying, very successfully, to cripple God’s people.

As I listen to this voice, another voice is soon heard, whispering gently to my soul. It is much quieter than the first, but it causes me to rebel against the voice of Satan. The whispering voice reminds me who I really am. I am chosen of God, saved by Jesus, and held by the Spirit. While I am still a speck in the cosmos, I am a very special speck, only because God chose me to be. His whispering voice reminds me that anything He does, no matter if it’s “little” or “big” according to the world, is special.

So, for a few days I feel special. What I do matters, even if it impacts only one life. Do I do anything to keep this feeling, to continue to listen to the whispering voice? No. Does this feeling last? No. After awhile I start listening to Satan’s voice. Then God’s whisper captures me again. An endless cycle, that constantly repeats itself through the weeks and years of my life. A stagnant rut I have dug for myself.

‘This time will be different though,’ I promise myself. But how? While I’m still trying to find the perfect answer, I have found a few things I should do. First, and always first, I need to talk to God everyday, in a relationship manor and not an ‘I want’ way. Second, I need to memorize memory verses that tell me God’s worth and my purpose in life. That way I have a good answer for Satan’s voice when he asks me what good I am. Third, I need to list the ways God blesses me, works in my life, including the mundane things. Four, I need to share this list with others and encourage them to do the same.

Will I ever fall back into that rut? I hope not, but if I do, I will have those lists to read over, and as always, that whispering voice.