Push The Button!

Tonight I confessed one of my secret impulse control problems. And, no, it's not eating any kind of food. I like to push buttons, not people's buttons, real buttons, especially if you're not supposed to push them. This is an impulse I control fairly well, better than others (eating chocolate for example!). With the kids around, I have lots of safe buttons I can push to help with the desire to push a button.

I used to work at the Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research. It's on a university campus. In every elevator there is an emergency call button/box/phone/speaker. The elevator in our building had a door you opened. Inside was a speaker and a red button.

One day, while I was riding the elevator alone I had the urge to push the button. You'd think I would have plenty of buttons to push in the lab. Apparently this day there wasn't enough.

I assumed that there would be no one to answer at the other end of the emergency button. I just figured it was there for the fire personnel or police, if there happened to be an emergency.

I pushed the button...A voice spoke to me out of the speaker, "Do you have an emergency?"

To which I replied, after a long delay, "No, I accidentally pushed the button."

Thankfully no one came to check up on me. Guess it helps to be on a college campus.

Did I mention I was 23 yo at the time?

Writing, Finally

I finally wrote a couple of pages in my book this weekend. Might not seem like much to you, but it is a lot to me. Getting even one page in at a time is wonderful! My sister-in-law was kind enough to donate her old lap top to my book, I'll have to remember her in the dedication! I just need to remember to turn it on, and not my main computer. It's way too easy to surf the net, use Facebook, play games, etc, etc.! The difficult part I'm working on right now is finally coming together. I'm just trying not to think about how it will end, and just write little bits at a time.

On another note: The kids enjoyed looking at the moon last night. The little Dude noted that the moon was getting bigger. Last night it was half full. Last time they saw it, it was only about a sliver. Explained, briefly, about how the moon grows bigger and then smaller every month. Not sure how much they were paying attention, but they seemed to absorb it for later.

Garden Goodbye's

This afternoon I finished cleaning out all of my flower beds, getting them ready for the winter. Matt even pruned the crab apple tree for me. This is the first time I've actually cleaned them all out. In past years I was hit or miss. The ones I missed over the years made for easier Falls, but the Spring plantings required more work. Just because you don't clean your gardens out in the fall, doesn't mean you won't have to clean them out sometime, if you want them to remain a garden! It feels good to have one item checked off my list, at least for a few months. As a Mom I have the eternal to do list with jobs that continually need to be redone, even if I did them yesterday. I look forward to the endless mountains of dirty and unfolded clean laundry, stacks of macaroni art dishes, and Lego landmines.

Organizing Thoughts!

I'm working on organizing my, as I call it, growing vine of thoughts. I had a great bible study tonight with Matt on the names of God. We discussed Elohim (elo-HEEM). I was able to talk about some of the thoughts that had been percolating about that, since we do a study in 2 weeks to meditate on it. Then a friend came over who had missed the Ladies retreat and wanted to see my notes. We had a wonderful visit. Talking with her helped me to settle some of the thoughts I had been having about prayer and other sundry things. Now that I've thought about these thoughts, talked with someone about them (it's amazing how even just verbalizing something can make or break it, not to mention the added benefit of someone to respond and point things out you didn't see!) and worked on writing some of my questions and thoughts down I'm pruning the vine to a more manageable size. I think I can now string a few complete, related thoughts together and have them make some kind of sense! Yeah! Unfortunately it is time for bed, so I will have to wait for tom. to see if I can be productive with all this thinking...

At A Loss

I'm having issues with my brain. Not that I haven't been thinking, but thinking too much. One line of thought will spawn another, which will in turn spawn another, until I'm so tangled up in them I don't know up from down. Trying to separate out all the strands to write a coherent thought in any form is very trying right now. I'm glad that these thoughts are interesting and will someday be productive, but right now life in the spider's web is wearing on me. I can only hope my thoughts slow down and organize themselves before I go off the deep end with them coming out my ears. Pray for those I come in contact with, they won't know what hit them!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Woke to about a half of inch of snow on the ground this morning. Matt was very unhappy about this. He doesn't like snow, since it means cold weather, which he doesn't like either. The kids were ecstatic about all the snow! They were so cute running around to the different windows and pointing out all the snow. They couldn't wait for me to dig out all the winter things so they could go outside and walk in it. Listening to them made me so excited as well. The world was much prettier this morning. Better than the mud and bare branches we've been getting. This fall has been fairly blah color wise. Much disappointment in the house when all the snow finally melted.

Elizabethism - When she about 2, and really getting into the idea of snow, we had one last snow storm in April. I explained to her that this would probably be the last snow. She burst into tears, begging me not to let the snow go away. Apparently she thought that there would be no more snow ever and was very disappointed. All the rest of the spring, through the summer, and most of the fall she talked about how sad she was that it wasn't snowing any more. No matter how many times I explained to her that it would snow again later in the year, she didn't seem to believe me. She was so happy when it finally did snow again.

Rewrites

It's late and I need to get up early, but I promise to write a full blog tomorrow evening. I'm going to work on rewriting my latest Dustin Dust-Bunny story. Hopefully you will enjoy seeing the writer piece of me more active. Still frustrated about writing anything new. I do my best writing after 10pm, but have to go to bed early most nights. I have to get up too early and be too with it to care for my children to spend many nights up writing. I'll just have to plan one night or so a week to write. Here's hoping I can carry out this plan!

Not Me Monday

My friend Kristina always post a Not Me Monday. It has inspired me...read on to find out what this day is.

I did not...

• sit my youngest child in her high chair, give her snack, and I did not put in the Fantastic 4: Rise of the silver surfer so I could have peace and quiet while everyone else was gone.
• bribe my children with M & M's, again, while grocery shopping.
• convince my oldest child that her gum would not bleed if she pulled her tooth out early, just so I could get her to stop giving me minute by minute updates of how loose it was.
• go to MOPs grumpy.
• sneak Cindy's home made apple danish when no one was looking.
• roll my eyes at my husband when he told one of his "one-liners"
• forget to write in my story
• leave my youngest child in bed with my husband to snot him up when I set up her humidifier.
• miss any kids while playing dodge ball at Adventure Clubs.
• forget to make a meal for our friend who is having a baby
• do any impulse buying of chocolate at the grocery store, and then eat it all to try and hide it from my husband (who did not find the wrappers in the garbage).

• start singing a song I know gets stuck in my husbands head, in front of him, and I did not only sing half of it...

Hope you enjoyed a Not Me Monday.

Adventures Beneath the Bed: Dustin Dust-Bunny and The Voracioius Vacuum

One of my first Dustin stories. It really should be edited and rewritten, but I'll get to that later!

Every few years or so the Voracious Vacuum would threaten the Dust Bunny world. The roaring of it's hunger would fill the world with noise. Grabbing what they could, the Dust Bunnies would rush to Sacred Place, the Cradle of Life. There, in the exact center of their world they would wait out the onslaught, renewing old acquaintances, meeting new people, educating their children on the origins of their lives.

In the Cradle of Life could be found the Ancient One. The oldest Dust Bunny known. He had survived untouched by the strange creatures that threatened their world, simply by never leaving the Cradle of Life. Here, among the dirt and grim, he lived to protect his descendants as best he could. Teaching those who came to him willingly, and those who found refuge during a Vacuum attack, the history of their people.

Dustin was playing happily at the playground. He had promised his mother he would stay there, and not wander off to explore. That was easy to do this day, since there was nothing interesting going on. He was busy trying to get his swing as high as possible, so he did not notice when the other kids starting looking around for a strange sound. He had just jumped at the apex of his last swing forward when the Vacuum Siren sounded. Startled, he landed hard on the wood chips bellow.

After he caught his breath, he was up and running home. He had only heard the Vacuum Siren once, when some older boys decided to set it off. All he knew, was that it was loud and scary. He arrived home to find his mother frantically throwing clothes, food, and emergency supplies into open boxes.

She shoved one in his arms. “Here, carry this to the car, and then help with the others.”

Having never seen his mother so upset, Dustin complied without complaint. They had the car packed in short order, squeezed themselves in, and then proceeded to join the traffic jam forming on the road to the Cradle of Life. Eventually the joint efforts of the police and military, the jam was sorted out and everyone was able to arrive safely at the Cradle of Life.

Dustin left his mother arguing over a campsite to explore the ruins. He wandered where ever his whim lead him. With much meandering, he slowly made his way to the center. There he found The Ancient One with other young Dust Bunnies. The Ancient One was speaking, telling the tales of the Voracious Vacuum and courageous Dust Bunnies who tried to stop it.

“It has been more than 15 years since the vacuum has appeared. It's coming this time, was just like the others. A subsonic throbbing felt in the bones, then the growing of a roar as it drew closer. Soon it's one glaring eye stabs out of the darkness. It's voracious mouth devouring all in sight with it's rolling teeth. Nothing can stand in it's way. Your homes will be gone, your schools, you stores, you playgrounds all devoured. Here, in the Cradle of Life, we are safe. The Voracious Vacuum can never reach us here, in the center of our world. It tries. Sometimes it succeeds in catching those who do not respect the boundaries of the Cradle, but those are a foolish few. None have returned to tell us more about the beast. We can see the eye and teeth from atop our mountain here, but no more do we know of it. Many have tried and failed. Always, we look for one brave enough, and smart enough, to seek the beast out. If that happened, someday we might know a way to slay the beast.”

The Ancient One continued onto another story, but Dustin wasn't listening. He was imagining a Victory Parade, his Victory Parade. The whole of Dust World (?) would be there to cheer him and his praise his feat. There he was, a top the largest float, holding aloft the heart of the beast. He would not only follow the beast back to it's lair, but he would watch it, discover it's weakness, and then slay it. Dustin smiled faintly with the thought of the Mayor presenting him with the key to the city and all the important people who would come to hear him speak of his adventures.

He sneaked off, avoiding large groups of Dust Bunnies. He quickly made it to the borders of the Cradle of Life. Away from the loud babble of Bunnies, he could hear the roaring of the Vacuum. It grew louder and louder. Soon Dustin could see the glare of it's baleful eye. He watched in awe as the Vacuum made passes at the Cradle of Life. No one seemed to have left the borders, and the beast seemed anger about that. As he watched, Dustin noticed the beast followed a pattern to it's attack. The Voracious Vacuum would dart forward, then pull back in anger as it's teeth ground against nothing. The next forward pass would be parallel to the first, only covering a small swath of the same ground.

Dustin thought, that he could sneak up to the side of the beast, if he kept to the ground it had already been over. He noted it never went back to where it had been. He hid as the eye swept over him. Once he felt it was far enough passed him, he crept out. Running low to the ground he came upon the back left side of the Vacuum. The roar of the beast was deafening here, it was all Dustin could do to keep from panicking and racing back to safety. He kept the vision of his Victory Parade in his mind's eye as he looked for a place to jump on the beast unseen.

Just as he thought he had spied a place, the beast twisted. The glaring eye pinned him in place, and the whirling teeth sucked him in. Dustin was spun, squished, and finally slammed into the wall of the dust canister. All around him debris was being spun through the air. His eyes rolled with the effort to follow the dirt, and soon his stomach rebelled and he heaved his lunch up. After being sick, he found that he could control his stomach by keeping his eyes tightly shut and trying to hold perfectly still.

Suddenly the roaring and spinning abruptly stopped. Dustin opened his eyes in time to see a blinding white light fill the darkness. Stunned and blinded, he never noticed when the canister was removed and the contents dumped into the trash. As luck would have it, being near the top and being so light, he floated out of the trash and landed on the Phantom Shoe. His luck continued as the shoe wandered back to Dust World (?) to entice more Dust Bunnies to play inside.

He woke to the smell of old gym socks, a familiar one to him. Realizing where he was, and thanking his luck, he climbed out of the phantom Shoe. He was soon picked up by the police who delivered him to his frantic mother, after giving him a lecture on ignoring the Vacuum Siren.

copyright 2008

Do The Happy Dance!

The potty training of our two year old has been a struggle. When I potty trained my first born, I thought it would be easy. She was asking to use the potty at 1 1/2. At three she was not only not potty trained, she was refusing to use the potty. Bowing to the wise advice of "What to Expect The Toddler Years", I allowed her to potty train on her own schedule. But, as her third year went by and she said she liked wearing her diaper and she started to hide when she had to do her business, I thought I'd throw the book's advice out the window. It took a month of concentrated effort of taking her to the potty, sometimes kicking and screaming, every 2 hours before she caught on to the whole potty thing.

My son, second born, potty trained in 2 weeks. He was 2 1/2. I decided to wait with him b/c of all the difficulty with my first. One week he spent learning how to pee and poop on the potty, the next when he had to go. After the second week he just started to ask and was dry every time. Did I mention that my oldest had accidents at least weekly until she was 4? My son, I can count the number of accidents he had on one hand.

Now I'm on to the third child. I thought I had it all figured out. Started when she was 2 1/2. She could not seem to figure out how to go on the potty. We sat there for weeks on the potty while she figured it out. Finally, she figured it out. Yeah! Then started the easier task of getting her to hold it for longer than 15 minutes. That only took about a week.

We're going on 6 months here of me taking her to the potty every few hours or so. She very rarely fought me, she likes to use the potty b/c she can take her clothes off. Finally, this week she's figured out when she has to pee and will ask. She's been dry for 2 days straight!!! I know that doesn't mean she will be tomorrow, but she's finally figuring this whole thing out. Now, if she could only learn when she had to poop...

Zumba

I tried Zumba for the first time tonight. I guess it's the "new" aerobics craze sweeping the nation! I don't know if I was swept, but I did enjoy it. I was a little nervous about going, since I haven't worked out since before I got pregnant with my youngest. And even before then I wasn't that good about working out. I did fine. Some of the jumping bothered my knee, but I just made them little jumps and tried to work harder at other things. I'm pleasantly exhausted, but not so much that I feel like I'm going to collapse. I had a good workout and feel great. Will I go back? Yes, but not every week. Thankfully you can pay week to week. For some odd reason the only thing I'm ADD about it working out. I don't like doing the same things over and over. I'll Zumba again, along with a whole slue of other things.

Ladies' Night

I had a great night tonight. Took Elizabeth to see the Scarlet Cord performed by Ballet Magnificat. I try to bring culture to my children's lives, but it's difficult where we live. It was truly amazing to see. I was even moved to tears a couple of times. (If you know me that's very unusual.) Elizabeth loved it, she got to sit on the floor right up front and even got to dance with the Ballerinas when they asked the kids to go forward. My sister-in-law, her daughter, and another friend of ours went as well.

We dropped the girls off at our houses for the husbands to put them to bed. Yeah for great husbands! Then the three ladies went out to Applebee's for dessert and conversations. (We had gotten to the ballet early. My niece says to her Mom. "Mom, there's nothing to do. Did you bring me some toys?" Her mom replied, "Just sit and talk with Elizabeth, that's what ladies do."!)

It was a great night. My sister-in-law is amazing. I'm so in awe of the things she can do and her gift of mercy. Everyone likes her. They may not always agree with her, but I've never met anyone who could say anything bad about her, yet she doesn't compromise her beliefs. And she even likes me, prickles and all. Something I'm not used to.

Our friend is also wonderful. The things I learn from her. I admire her passion for studying the Bible and getting to know God, not just knowing about Him. Her fire is so bright. She is such an encouragement and I can talk to her for hours. She know so much and is great about helping me, in a kind and gentle way.

I am so blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my life. Women who I look up to and admire and often find myself hoping some of their good qualities will rub off on me (I'd like to be more tactful especially!). These amazing women are my friends, enjoy spending time with me, and actually learn from me as well. I'm just in awe of the wonderful women God has brought into my life.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Once again it is raining where I live. This whole past year seems to have been filled with precipitation of some kind or another. I do not mind colder weather or even wet weather, but I despise monotony. I like my weather to change. I like the hot, I feel sick weather, and the it's so cold my nostrils are freezing together weather and everything in between. So, the weather is finally getting to me. We've had this same weather for a year now and I've had enough of it. Why doesn't someone else get the rain, I know they need it more than we do right now.

To cheer myself, and the kids, up, I've been listening to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' sung by Ella Fitzgerald. I love her rendition of this classic song. I especially love the words at the beginning.

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around,
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun,
Just a step beyond the rain

- E.Y. Harburg

Recently a friend's grandmother passed away. There was some sadness, but much rejoicing at her leaving us. While she has left us, she has gone on to a wonderful homecoming. Makes me a little jealous when I actually take the time to read the news and see what a mess our world has become. I can't wait till I take that step over from this world to Heaven. Listening and singing this song reminds me that someday, many of us will take that step to a place beyond the rain. It may be raining outside, but there is sunshine in my heart.

20% and counting

Today I officially have lost 20% of my body weight since January, 30% since the day my youngest child was born! It feels very good to be able to move and fit into my old clothes again. I hope to finish loosing all the baby/post-marriage weight by Christmas, although it's getting tougher now that I've lost so much. It has been an effort.

With the two pounds a week weight loss I thought I would be doing, I should have been done long before now. It has been very hard to control my desires and cravings. I've had to make a conscious effort all day, every day to keep me going and not slip into just eating whatever, whenever. It has been very exhausting, but the longer I stick with it the easier it becomes. What once took lots of planning and calculating and avoidance of the kitchen, has now become almost second nature.

I love food and love to eat so much still. I will never be one of those people who don't have to think about what they eat. I'm hoping I won't have to be obsessive about it or have too think too much on it. I'm hoping it will become a natural part of my lifestyle, with a few slip ups that don't amount to much.