A Woman of Many Hats

Weep With Those Who Weep

2011-10-26T11:26:00.002-04:00

I mourn for the living.
I mourn for those
gathered around the grave.
I mourn for the loved ones
left behind.

I mourn for those mourning.

I mourn for the widow,
sleeping alone
for the first time in sixty-five years.

I mourn for the child,
forced to wander through life
without their hero.

I mourn for words left unspoken,
the Thank yous,
the I'm sorrys,
the unsaid good bye.

I mourn for the living.

I Mourn Not

2011-10-20T20:43:00.002-04:00

I Mourn Not

I mourn not for the dead.

I mourn not for those

In their Eternal Home.

I mourn not for those in Hell.

I mourn not for those in Heaven.

I mourn not for the loved ones,

Lost to this Cursed World.

I mourn not for the life

They left behind,

Their Past,

Their unfinished Future.

I mourn not for things left undone,

Mistakes made,

Victories won,

Wounds inflicted,

Kindnesses shown.

I mourn not for the good they did,

The wrongs they wrought.

No, I mourn not for the dead.

BAA: Day 2: Our Two Year Old Hikes Giant Mountain

2011-08-05T15:14:00.003-04:00

It rained, and it rained and it rained . . . At least until after lunch!

We ate breakfast, lazed around reading (or in my case writing) and making sure the kids didn’t injury someone with the pool balls. By the time the rain stopped after lunch, we all had cases of Cabin Fever. Mom had spent the morning looking up various, children (aka—easy) friendly hikes. My sister and her family opted out of hiking, they arrived late the night before and needed to buy some groceries.

We left Grandma to hold down the fort and headed off. Our destination: Owl Head, listed as a children friendly hike. We piled into the van and my parent’s car. After several cell calls and many turns, we decided the map was not very accurate. Owl Head was not to be found and conquered this day.

Dad stopped at a random trail – Rooster Comb. It looked promising. The trail map showed various length hikes. Bug spray applied, we headed off. Only to be thwarted by 4 inches of walk covering the first 500 feet or so.

Back to the car we went to tackle the next trail, Giant Mountain. Again, the map showed various levels of difficulty. The simplest trail led down along the river, very flat. Overly confident, I pointed everyone up the waterfall view trail, about a mile long. The three older kids ran ahead with Mom and Dad. The littlest chugged along on her short legs, but was unable to keep up. Matt walked with her, while I tried to keep the rest of the group in sight.

Alas, we lost them about half-way up. Knowing my parents are experienced hikers (and it’s rare for Dad to get lost anywhere), we trusted we would find them waiting at the waterfall. Our 2yo chugged her way up over rocks, stream beds and squelched through mud. All the while, the waterfall roared louder and louder. A flat, tree filled, area greeted us near the top of the waterfall. No sign, or sound, of my parents and three older children.

Various paths lead from the flat area to views of the waterfall. Matt looked down a couple until he found the one that lead to the very top of the falls. No sign of the rest of our little group. Only one trail branched off from where we were -- a 2.6 mile hike to the top of the mountain. We doubted my parents would take the kids up there, but we weren’t sure where they could be. With the 2yo gamely tagging along, we started up and we started praying. And up it was, straight up.

Fortunately the mud consistency led it to be wet enough for footprints, but firm enough to leave a good imprint. Unfortunately, neither Matt nor I can read tracks. In full fledged panic, my prayers turned into a chant of ‘Help, help, help.’

After 15 minutes we stopped. Pushing my anxiety into the back of my mind, Matt and I discussed it logically. We did not believe my parents would ever take the kids on a trail so steep. So, off we set, back down Giant Mountain, with the 2yo now being carried by her Daddy.

Unknown to us, my parents were going through a similar experience. They also thought we should have met up near the waterfall. When we did not appear, they assumed the Little One had grown tired and we took her down. No cell service equaled no communications. (Note to self – Bring walkie-talkie’s next time!) The set off back down the trail and walked the path along the river to the base of the falls. Not finding us there they headed back to the cars to see if we were there.

After what seemed like days, Matt, I and our sleepy 2yo emerged from the wilderness. The three older kids very excited and Mom and Dad relieved we were not lost. Still unable to to think in complete sentences, never the less I praised and thank God for keeping my family safe.

Meanwhile, Grandma spent and uneventful, quiet day at the house. My sister and her husband also had a nice afternoon shopping and looking at where my brother-in-law used to live.

The Good, The Bad and The GPS - Day 1 of the Benson Adirondack Adventures!

2011-07-15T16:14:00.003-04:00

This year's family vacation fell to my family. While vacations with Matt's family are peaceful and uneventful, the same cannot be said of going on vacation with mine. Benson Adventures are the norm for us. We've camped through hurricane landfalls, found the literal end of the highway and visited many emergency rooms across the country. One thing that always happens on vacation with my family (actually my parents, since this doesn't happen to my siblings or I on vacations without my parents!) - rain. Not just a little rain, but often raining more than half of the vacation. We've been to places in the midst of droughts. People praying for rain. We show up for vacation and it rains and rains. We leave and their drought conditions return. My parents should sell their services!

Despite the threat of rain, we headed off to the Benson Adirondack Adventure (or BAA)! The drive out was disarmingly uneventful, including the expected rain. Our four little ones rode happily and uncomplaining the whole way. The mountains beautiful, the road wending its way between them, awed our children who had only ever seen hills.

Our GPS, set for the fastest route, provided some amusement as it directed us off the main road at one point and onto ever decreasing sizes of roads. When we hit a one lane road, we joked that the next road would be a deer path. After a few miles though, we turned onto a new main road and continued on our merry way.

We arrived and settled in, the rented “lodge” a little more worn than the pictures on the website. Everyone else loved it. Not so much myself, my gross meter went off due to the fact that the air freshener used in the “lodge” was the same scent the hospital uses to mask unpleasant smells.

The real adventures started the next day.

Preventative Medicine

2011-04-01T10:48:00.002-04:00

This past year my four-year-old was finally diagnosed with asthma. Now that asthma is an official diagnosis we can treat her before she contracts pneumonia or bronchitis.

From her first cold at a month old until now, she coughed and wheezed through the winters. Her energy would be low and she spent most of her time lying around. It was hard to watch her go through all the effects of having asthma, especially the pneumonia and subsequent hospitalization.

This past winter she took a preventative medication, twice a day. It works wonderfully! She’s only had 2 colds so far, instead of a constant one, no bronchitis or pneumonia. We’ve only had to use other medication for wheezing a handful of times.

Some people question our use of steroids on such a young child. I simply tell them that the amount of medication she received in the hospital for pneumonia equals a full two years of the home medication. I’d much rather give her mild steroids for 6 months a year than strong ones.

Just like my daughter, we all have a chronic illness – “My Way” (as Frank Sinatra put it). “My Way” takes me through difficult, sometimes horrific times, as I step farther and farther from God’s Way. God then needs to give me serious and powerful medication in order to bring me back to His Way, medication that ranges from a guilty conscious to being broken and sobbing. Treatment s are hard, often painful. It’s not a lot of fun. But God knows it needs to be done - better to remove the cancer, endure a painful recovery and be done with it.

Just like my daughter needs preventative medication for her asthma, I need preventative medication for my own way. Preventative medication such as: reading a verse a day, praying (even short prayers count), spending time worshiping with other Christians, and actively seeking those things that make God happy.

Preventative medicine isn't perfect, not yet. We still live in a sin cursed world. Just like my daughter, from time to time, comes down with the colds, coughs and wheezes, I catch a case of "My Ways." Just like my daughters illnesses no longer escalate into bronchitis or pneumonia, "My Ways" are shorter and I often don't stray as far. As long as I'm keeping up my preventative medications "My Ways" are few and far between (aiming to have them never occur again!).

Not all writing is equal

2011-03-05T09:47:00.003-05:00

I recently headed back to college on my way to a master's degree and a nurse practitioner's license. The next couple of years will consist mostly of nursing theory. Fascinating to learn, extremely boring to write about.

Creative writing is a pleasure and a delightful journey, even when it's grueling. Designing a finely tuned phrase, building a new world and questing towards a great ending with your characters make me happy.

Technical writing is the very opposite, at least with one of the classes I had this semester. Read a few research papers and write up my own, not too hard. Excitement abounded, at first, I have read many research papers and technical books that are not boring. Many of them take creative ways of writing and apply them as far as they can to their technical writing. Upon reading through the directions for the papers in this class I found that not only was I to write concisely, but creative phrases were frowned upon. This is not a work of fiction, but non-fiction and styles of fiction would not be tolerated.

Writing became a chore. Just another task to check off my list before fun times could commence. No wonder no one wants to voluntarily read technical material. Yes it needs to be informative in a short period of time, but it can be creative and interesting. Now that spring break is approaching I'm looking forward to more time for creative writing, and being able to use contractions again. On the other side of spring break looms another technical theory course: "Nursing Research."

I would sigh, but I've fooled them. I did use creative techniques in my technical writing. Just a little sprinkled here and there. Wonder if they'll notice?

My Heavenly Bucket List

2011-03-02T13:22:00.002-05:00

My heavenly bucket list, those things I want to do when I leave this world to spend eternity with God, my Abba Father. Not a very long list (yet), but I think I’ve covered about a million years. Some items on the list are down right silly and ostentatious, while others are of a more serious nature. While talking with others about this list I’ve been met with both amusement and horror. Inevitably the comment is made, “God doesn’t need you to tell him what you want to do or what you’d like him to do.” Almost as if I was stepping out of line asking God for seemingly frivolous things. Come on, this is Heaven, “won’t it just be one long worship service of songs and sermons?”

I believe God does want us to request things from him, from the frivolous to the humungous. I’m not sure of who told me, but this image has always stuck with me: God waiting expectantly in front of a huge warehouse of magnificent gifts for each of his children. All they have to do is to ask for something so he can bestow gifts upon those he loves. God also commands us to talk to him; we call it prayer here on planet Earth. Besides, what would be the point to creating human beings to interact with if we didn’t communicate back? God wants, craves our attention, and not just about the horrible, big things.

You can agree that when things are horrible or spectacularly good God wants to know about them. Do you believe he also wants to hear the little things, the silly and frivolous things (sometimes they turn out not so small and silly.)? How wonderful it will be to spend eternity with God. I can’t wait to explore everything, met everyone (including all the angels!) and spend my time doing whatever God asks of me.

What’s on My Heavenly Bucket List?

1. Forget flying, I want to instantaneously transport myself everywhere. (I never got the idea of the journey being the fun part.)

2. I want my house to change daily based on my needs of the day. If I’m having a ton of people over – give me a huge ballroom, if I’m entertaining a few people – a cozy tea room, if I’m reading or writing – a quiet library, and if I’m having a backyard BBQ – the biggest backyard ever!

3. I also want to change location often (how else will I meet everyone if I stay in one place!).

4. I’d like to be able to breath underwater and withstand great pressure so I can dive with the wales.

5. I want to sing in the heavenly choir.

6. I want to learn to do and know everything possible (this might take a few million years!).

7. I want to talk with John and understand his special relationship with Jesus.

8. I want to have a time each day to sit and talk with Jesus and God.

9. I’d like to be able to SEE the Holy Spirit.

And the list goes on and on…Forever is a lot of time to fill up.

I don’t know if God will ever fulfill any of these requests. He might ignore each and everyone. That’s ok. He knows me better than I know myself and whatever he chooses will be breathtaking and extravagant! But, some how I think he will.

What’s on your Heavenly Bucket List?

Function Vs. Fashion

2010-12-13T17:53:00.002-05:00

Winter blew in, all at once, a few weeks before Christmas this year. Snowing for 8 days in a row. (I think the weatherman should tell us when it won't be snowing.)

All this snow means lots of shoveling, and walking where people haven't bothered to shovel. Boots are extremely helpful this time of year. Although, I've been able to sneak by without them for the past 4-5 years.

This winter, though, I'm not pregnant, breastfeeding, or have an infant in the house. I am free to help shovel and play with the kids outside. (insert sigh here) Needless to say, the sneakers I've been wearing will not do for long periods in the snow.

I finally broke down and purchased a pair of boots. Tall enough for wading through at least a foot of snow, waterproof, and good for temperatures down to minus 5. (I hope not to be out at temperatures colder than that!) They're not exactly the kind of boots I'd normally wear, but by this time in the continuing snow I did not have much choice.

My husband saw me wearing them to go out to shovel. His response, "Going out to cut down some trees? 'I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.'" (Insert more sarcastic comments on the "fashion" of my boots.)

That's when it hit me. I had purchased a pair of boots without regard to fashion. When did that start? I started thinking...I prefer my mini-van over my husband's sports car. I wear flannel pj's to bed instead of a negligee. (although not a flannel nightie) I like the electric blanket, so I can crawl into a warm bed. The list goes on.

When did I grew so old that I sacrificed function and comfort for fashion? and Does these mean I now have to buy from the woman's clothing section?

I don't feel old. I still think of myself as being in my mid-twenties. (Although it's been a long time since I was mistaken for a high school-er most people I meet think I'm closer to 25 than 40) Now I need to decide, do I continue the downward slid into fashion-less function or do I fight to remain fashionable?

Only time will tell...

The End of An Era

2010-11-18T12:49:00.003-05:00

It's finally happening. The thing I have looked forward to for the past seven years! In a few more weeks I will no longer be dropping off or picking up a child from the nursery at church!

A little less than seven years ago, I started dropping my eldest off in the nursery. An exciting rite of passage. It seemed unreal to me. But now, after dropping off one, sometimes two, babies every Sunday morning and evening, I will be done. Yes!

My youngest turned two recently. The age when they are kicked out of the nursery and dropped into the unstableness that is the toddler room. I'm very excited, but it's bittersweet.

No longer do I have to feel trapped by lugging around an infant, one who needs so much time and attention. The cleaning up, the breastfeeding, the explosive diapers, little sleep, introducing solids. But I no longer have that warm little bundle to snuggle with. No one who looks at me and thinks everything I do is wonderful and perfect. No one who looks at me with completely trusting eyes. No one who needs me so completely and wants me so completely.

I will miss the baby stage, it was fun and frustrating. I'm glad it's over, very glad I don't have to go back, but I will always cherish the memories.

"The Boy Who Changed the World" - Andy Andrews

2010-09-10T17:30:00.002-04:00

"The Boy Who Changed the World" by Andy Andrews

What do Mose Carver, George Washington Carver, Henry Wallace, and Norman Borlaug have in common? They changed the world. Using these men, Andy Andrews teaches children about the Butterfly Effect. Showing them that no matter how small or insignificant they might think they are, they can change the world. Andrews encourages kids to realize God has made them special and has a plan for their lives that will effect countless unseen people. Every choice they make, good or bad, has an effect on the world.

All of my children loved this book. The one yo and three yo enjoyed Philip Hurst's art work. While the five and six yo's enjoyed hearing how each of these men changed the world and influenced each other. A spectacular way to start young children thinking about the choices they make, the plan God has for their lives and the world, and encourage them that they themselves can change the world.

I highly recommend anyone to read this books, whether they have children or not. An important concept for anyone to understand and follow. A spectacular book!

(Copy of "The Boy Who Changed the World" provided by Tommy Nelson publishing. Opinions are my own.)

20 Weeks to a Book - Week 9 (or there abouts)

2010-08-28T15:40:00.002-04:00

I am far behind in my weeks for writing. I have been lax and have not written anything for my book. I have been writing, though. I finished a devotional and sent it on to Penned from the Heart. I believe it will be published in the 2011 edition. I have also been organizing myself to work on 2 articles for Moms and their children's health care. I hope to have those done this month to be sent out by the end.

Here's what Maeve has to say in week 9: Visualize Success...Sounds simple, but it's not always. The mind is powerful. It has the power to think some into thinking they are ill, doctor's encourage patients to visualize being well again (which does help), if your mind believes something has happened, your body can have all the sensations that it has happened. It can be scary thinking of all the power your mind has over you! Maeve encourages us to think about what it will be like to be successful...How will you celebrate when you publish that book? Who will you tell? What will you wear? How will you announce it? Detailed dreams of what it will be like to finish your book can spur you complete it during those times when writing is the toughest.

Get out there and visualize your success. I know I am!

2010-08-28T15:22:00.003-04:00

"The Witness"

2010-08-06T14:19:00.004-04:00

"The Witness" by Josh McDowell

http://files.tyndale.com/thpdata/FirstChapters/978-1-4143-3412-7.pdf

Marwan Accad, co-owner of Accad and Associates, an executive security company, finds himself embroiled in a French conspiracy. His current job is to find the wife of a wealthy Egyptian. During a meeting with the man, the unthinkable happens, his client is assassinated and Marwan becomes the only witness, and the only suspect.

Marwan flees for his life, suffering a gun shot wound in the process. Wanting to escape France, he flies to Morocco and to the safety of a friend's house. There he begins his journey towards a new life.

A redemption story, I had mixed feelings about it. Some places McDowell gives great detail, but in others I felt something was lacking. Not much is said about the conspiracy, or the resolution of it. While McDowell does an excellent job of portraying arguments for redemption, Marwan's conversion seemed too easy. His inner struggle was shown, but it seemed very superficial. The ending left me with too many questions to feel satisfied by it's abruptness.

It had so much potential to be a spectacular story, but it was just a good story.

A good read for the beach.

This copy provided by Tyndale house, but the opinions are my own.

20 Weeks to a Book - Week 8

2010-08-02T15:28:00.002-04:00

It seems every time I post a new week, it's actually been more than 1 week. I've had a busy couple of weeks. Went to OH and KY with just my husband. It's been awhile since we spent that much time together, just the two of us, so it was a trial at times, but worth it! Then I spent the last week at the Montrose Christian Writer's Conference! What a great time. Saw old friends, made new friends, grew, renewed, and learned a ton! Thanks especially to Bryan Davis and Ginger Kolbaba! Both gave great critiques, gentle yet honest. I have a lot of work to do, but I've made some short term goals that will help me along the way. I also was able to write a ton, not having any kids or responsibilities can help with that. On to week 8!

"The Writer's Journey" - A short chapter, but filled with little tidbits of advice. Maeve speaks of writing as a journey, as made obvious by the title. During this journey you discover things about yourself you never knew, solidify ideas and concepts you've had, and actually become different people by the end. She gives a warning: "If you don't [finish] then it's no journey at all, just a series of stops and starts and eventual disappointments." Maeve encourages us to keep going, to finish what we've started. Otherwise, it's just been a waste of time. And just think, someday you'll be able to say to all those people, "Of course I finished it."

Keep on writing, I plan to!

"Storm Warning" A Review

2010-07-14T13:29:00.003-04:00

The interest in the coming End of The World has increased dramatically recently. Wars, financial crises, and environmental disasters send fear shooting through our hearts. More and more people are turning to the Bible for answers, specifically Revelations. Here we find God's promises of the end of this age. Filled with odd visions and poetic language, it is a confusing book.

Billy Graham, in "Storm Warning", offers insight and hope for those seeking answers. Mainly detailing the Four Horsemen, he speaks of the urgency for those who profess to be Christians. The main thrust of the book is not what will the Apocalypse look like, but what should our response to these events should be.

Graham tells us that the events we are currently living through are warnings from God. Not warnings to dig a hole and wait for the end of the Earth. But warnings to motivate us to build a stronger personal relationship with God and to obey Jesus's command to proclaim the Gospel to every person on the Earth. Pray, seek God, spread His Message of Hope, and do not fear the coming storm.

Copy of book provided by Thomas Nelson Publishing.

20 Weeks to a Book - Weeks 6 & 7

2010-06-30T14:29:00.002-04:00

Disclaimer - I did indeed read week 6 last week, but completely forgot to blog about it!

I finally finished up the 20 pages and sent it off to be critiqued. Prayed it would get there in time! I've written almost another 10 pages. My goal is to have 340 pages rewritten by the end of the twentieth week. Going to need to write more than 10 pages a week! (but not much more)

Here they are, weeks 6 & 7:

Week 6 - "Sustaining Progress" We've all been there. A great idea inflames our imagination. We sit down and pound out the introduction. Soon - hours, days, weeks, months later - the passion dies. The enthusiasm is gone. Unfortunately you cannot write on passion alone. If you did, nothing would be finished. This has been me. What do you do when the passion is gone?

This is where true authors persevere and wannabes quit. As Maeve says, "It's all a matter of discipline." And when discipline gives out "a series of threats and rewards" may help. Bribe and punish yourself. For example: If I finish my quota for the week, I'll be able to go out with my girlfriends. If I don't, I won't get to go (and miss out on all the fun) and I have to clean the bathroom during that time instead. What rewards/punishments work for you will be different, but set them up and see how much writing you can achieve!

Week 7 - "Finding Your Voice" What is your voice? I can assure you it's not J.R.R. Tolkien's, J.K. Rowlings, Maeve Binchy's, or any of your favorite author's. You won't get far attempting to copy another's voice. Maeve says, "It's finding the method to tell your story that seems natural and unaffected." Continue to study the techniques of other writer's, but don't attempt to write like them. No one will read your story in someone else's voice if they can read the real thing! In writing there is a difference between generic and brand name! Write what you are passionate about and write in your natural voice. You'll go farther and be more apt to have your story published.

Brilliant

2010-06-21T12:27:00.003-04:00

At least, that's how I was feeling this morning. Grocery shopping with 4 kids can be a crazy, trying, annoying, frustrating, difficult, loud, embarrassing, draining (you get the picture) experience. With only one contained child, the rest feel they are on an adventure. An adventure to torture Mommy. They seem to instinctively know that they can get away with a lot more in public than at home, and they do it! The stores are giant play places. One can run around, screaming, moving food around, removing price labels, and opening all the freezer doors. I've even had to drag at least one child out of the employees only sections.

The past 9 months I've been shopping with only 2 (occasionally 3) children in tow. Much easier, trust me. School is out and I am back to shopping with all four kids. I spent the past couple of weeks racking my brain for ideas to entertain my children quietly. Then it hit me, letters. My middle two children are busy learning their letters. They hate to sit down and look at flash cards, so I have to be creative with education (something very hard for me!). I decided to have my children look for letters as we wandered the stores.

Before we headed out this morning I printed out 6 letter boards, one for each store. My oldest can read, but she likes to play games and would have felt left out if I did not print her a board. (I can only handle 2 stores at a time with all four of them.) I told them we would be playing a seek and find game at the stores. Excitement abounded. They could not wait to get to the store.

At the first store I handed them each a board and a writing utensil. I explained that they were to look for the letters on their boards. If they had capitals, they needed to find capital letters, and vice-versa. They spent the time searching diligently for letters while I shopped. They only ran out of letters while I was checking out at the last store, and then chaos began. But I had made it through 2 stores without dirty looks, noisy children, or frustration! Brilliant...

...Then I arrived home and realized I had forgotten to purchase vegetables, yet again. Looks like another run to the grocery store.

20 Weeks to A Book - Week 5

2010-06-17T12:53:00.004-04:00

This weeks reading was very informative, but I'm not sure if it applies to me. In week 5 Maeve speaks of Agents. She is very clear on the fact that one is needed. Basically she says that agents are more likely to be heard by a publisher and is in your corner. Two very important things. They also know the markets and what sells. They are good resources and can be very encouraging. Searching for an agent? Maeve suggest doing your homework when it comes to choosing agents to contact. Like publishers, not all agents accept all types of work. Check out this website: www.aaronline.org for a list of recommended agents.

I've officially completed the bare bones of my book. Now to fill in the details. I've rewritten the first 20 pages. I will be sending those off to be critiqued for the writer's conference. I will continue to rewrite and edit during the next few weeks. Maybe I'll have a complete book by the end of these 20 weeks!

Finished!

2010-06-13T16:40:00.002-04:00

I finally wrote the whole thing! I have the beginning, the climax, and the conclusion. I'm very excited. I went to tell my husband and he was very surprised I finished writing it. His disappointment showed when I told him just the first draft. I guess he thought it would be more "done" than that. Now I start the long process of editing and rewriting. Hopefully I will be able to add all the details and interesting information to make this a truly readable book. Will keep you posted.

20 Weeks to a Book - Week 4

2010-06-12T18:30:00.002-04:00

Here we are at week four. I've written some, but not as much as I wanted to! Also need to get to editing 20 pages to send on a head to the Writer's Conference. I need to finish that this week.

This week Maeve speaks to us about writing short stories. In this chapter she goes through her thought process when she writes a short story. While informative, the "8 Steps to a Short Story" by Ivy Bannister gave some great advice for any kind of story. Here are three quotes that struck me...

"Finally, enjoy! If you don't, your reader won't."

"Dump everything you have to tell onto the page as fast as you can, not bothering at this stage with polished sentences or choosing exactly the right word. Aim for you goal."

"Producing a Polished Draft This is the bit that separates the writers from the scribblers, and it takes a long time...Good stories are not written: they are rewritten."

Goals this week: edit the first 20 pages to send off to the Writer's Conference, write 5 hours, and do so before Thursday of next week!

Sumer Vacation

2010-06-10T08:36:00.001-04:00

Summer vacation for the kids started today. They slept in until after 7am, not great, but it's a start! So far all four of them are playing happily together. A few of them need to get dressed, but I'm reluctant to disturb the peace they formed this morning. It won't kill them to be in their pj's for a while longer. I'll hold off getting them dressed until they start getting on each others nerves and need a change of pace. And since they are playing with each other and not bugging me, I'm going to try to fit a few things in - like vacuuming and laundry. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that once I finish vacuuming and doing at least 1 load of laundry they are still happy and I can write. But, don't tell them, because I know they will immediately start causing troubles and nothing will get done...

20 Weeks to a Book - Week 3

2010-06-08T08:31:00.000-04:00

Here we are on week 3. I did not fit in 5 hours of writing last week. The inspiration to write seems to come when it is most inconvenient for me - while I'm doing laundry, when I need to go to bed, while at work, etc., etc. I'm working on disciplining myself to write right after the kids are in bed. I'll let you know how successful I am with that. I did find a good friend to set a dead line for me every week and to bug me if I am tardy with sending her the next part of the story.

This week Maeve encourages us to write about interesting people. People who interest us and who grow as the story is told. We need to remember the story is a journey and things change as the journey takes place. She also expects us to know what kind of pace the story should have. We need to decide what kind of story we are telling to determine that pace. The story I am currently working on is a medium speed story, not adventurous nor lyrical, but with a mix of both.

Next week, we will explore week 4 and see if I have stuck to my goals.

20 Weeks to a Book - Week 2

2010-05-27T08:14:00.003-04:00

(If you'll note the calendar, this should be week three. I had a brain lapse and forgot to read my chapter last week. We'll just continue on as if nothing happened.)

Writer's Groups

This week Maeve encourages the writer to join a writing group. In a Writer's Group you can learn from others mistakes, sharpen your skills, speak with people who do not think you are crazy, and be kept accountable. Maeve does warn that Writer's Groups can also be discouraging and devolve into gossip sessions. Still, she thinks they are worth the effort to find and be involved in a Writer's Group.

I have tried to be involved in a local Writer's Group, unsuccessfully. I did learn a lot and enjoy the other writings. There were many difficulties with this group. None wrote in the same genre as did I. Which shouldn't be a problem, but they had a difficult time grasping my stories. Fantasies of talking dust bunnies and habitable planets other than Earth eluded them. While their comments on my grammar and word usage were helpful, their overall critiques of the story were mean and nasty. While they were encouraging to the other members, they ripped my stories apart as being unclear and nonsense. I also ran into the fact that none of them were looking to be published. They just wanted to write and meet together with other writers and have their words read and praised.

Maybe I'll find another Writer's Group that will be more helpful, but for now I'll write alone. I still need someone to keep me accountable with my writing though, so if anyone wants to help, let me know!

2010-05-17T10:29:00.002-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

My son did not loose out on another week of playing the Wii because of talking back and ignoring his parents when they spoke to him.

My son did not loose out of having his cousin over for the whole day because of harassing his sisters.

My son and his cousin (who came over later) did not loose out on playing together for two weeks because the threw rocks at each other, nor did they try to get into our un-opened pool.

My son did not loose out on spending the night at Grandma's house because he continued to talk back, harass his sisters, nor ignore his parents.

My son did also not loose out on the first day he was supposed to be able to play the Wii again because he ignored Mommy when she told him not to do something.

What did your children/child not do this week!

Kid Quotes

2010-05-14T09:08:00.003-04:00

I love the sayings my kids come up with. The Big Princess is very good at sounding very grown up, but being very funny at the same time. Here are some of my favorite sayings from my kids, at least the three that can speak full sentences!

The Big Princess - (Said to me while we were driving home one night in the summer) Mommy, the stars are singing!

Little Dude - His reply to Daddy when Daddy said, "I like your shirt." Little Dude's reply, "It's stripped, like Thunder Ball!" (For those of you who don't know this is from a James Bond theme song which actually says, "...strikes, Black Thunder Ball")

Mini-Me - Her reply when Daddy noticed her hair was getting long "You're looking very shaggy." Mini-Me, "No, I Daphne!"

20 Weeks to a Book

2010-05-12T12:25:00.003-04:00

Maeve Binchy's "The Maeve Binchy Writers' Club" takes you through 20 weeks of lessons that once were presented at the National College of Ireland in Dublin. I picked up a copy of this book while at Borders, hoping for motivation to complete the book I started more than a year ago. It continues to haunt my dreams and many of my waking hours. Maybe if I actually finish it, I can have my thoughts to myself again.

Here we are at week 1: "Getting Started" - This week Ms. Binchy discusses making a plan and being disciplined to stick with it for the next 20 weeks. She also offers advice on organizing your space, or lack there of in my case. She recommends writing 5 hours each week. I'm going to do this, for at least the next 20 weeks. I'm off to a good start, I wrote for about an hour last night. I've also decided to include another goal. I need to have 30 pages edited to send out for a professional critique, to be mailed by the beginning of June.

Check back next week to find out the next step to writing a book in 20 weeks and my progress on the book I'm currently writing.

Not Me Monday!

2010-05-10T11:31:00.002-04:00

I did not run the washer (with soap and fabric softener), and forget to put the laundry in...

I did not eat 3 ice cream sandwiches in one sitting...

I did not spend Mother's Day afternoon at my Aunt's house, and leave my children with my husband at his mother's house...(I would never feel the need to be away from my wonderful children!)

I did not stay up late trying to finish Little Women...(I've read it dozens of times, why would I need to rush through it!)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

The Quiet Game

2010-04-18T21:26:00.002-04:00

My children have learned to love to play games, almost any kind, from my husband. About a year ago I was driving in the car with the kids. The Dude and The Big Sister were arguing and being very loud. I suggested a game called "Let's see who can be quiet until we get to..." No prize, just whoever stays the quietest the longest wins. They loved it. Both will often suggest playing it when we drive, no matter the length of the trip. It's a great game for Mommy. I'm not sure how long this "game" will last for them. For now, I enjoy the quiet.

Happy Birthday Mini-Me

2010-03-29T13:32:00.006-04:00

Mini-Me turned three yesterday. So cute, and yet so difficult. I have a love-hate relationship with her. The third child I never wanted, but fell in love with anyway. So sweet, and so un-cooperative. Very snuggly, stubborn, single-minded, frustrating, smart, resourceful, and imaginative. I couldn't imagine my life without her and very grateful she came to me. Here she is, from her first days to now.

"Imaginary Jesus"

2010-03-25T16:39:00.004-04:00

Have you ever discovered that the way you imagined Jesus to be wrong? I clearly remember the time it struck me that Jesus did not look anything remotely like the flannel graft Jesus I grew up with. Gone was the vision of light brown, straight hair, blue eyes, glowing white clothes, and perfectly manicured nails.

Matt Mikalatos carries the analogy even farther in his book "Imaginary Jesus". I was hesitant to start reading it. Was he going to poke fun at people who believe Jesus is real? Was he going to push one type of "Jesus" on me? Once I started reading, I couldn't put the book down! I finished reading it in one sitting.

Join Matt as he takes you on a fun filled, laugh out loud romp "through time, space and Portland, Oregon". He journeys to discover if his Jesus is the real Jesus. Along the way he meets Magic 8 Ball Jesus, White Supremacist Jesus, Political Jesus, and a host of others. Would one of them be the real Jesus? I'm not going to spoil the book. I promise you one thing, you will enjoy this book. It will make you think, while laughing. What could be better?

copy of "Imaginary Jesus" provided by Tynale House

The New Living Translation Break Through to Clarity Bible Contest and Giveaway

2010-03-23T13:04:00.000-04:00

The New Living Translation Break Through to Clarity Bible Contest and Giveaway

Visit www.facebook.com/NewLivingTranslation and click on the tab that says “Sweepstakes”

Fill out a simple form, take a quick Bible clarity survey, invite your friends to join and you’ll be entered to win one of our exciting prizes.

With each fan number milestone a new prize will be given away.

Grand Prize

Apple iPad 64G and a Life Application Study Bible
Awarded when the NLT Fan Page hits the fifth milestone
Retail Value: $829.00

2nd Prize - Already awarded

32G iPod Touch and a Life Application Study Bible
Awarded when the NLT Fan Page hits the fourth milestone
Retail Value: $300.00

3rd Prize – Will be awarded when fan count hits: 3500

Kindle DX and a Life Application Study Bible
Awarded when the NLT Fan Page hits the third milestone
Retail Value: $489.00

4th Prize Will be awarded when fan count hits: TBD

Apple iPad 16G and a Life Application Study Bible
Awarded when the New Living Translation Fan Page hits the second milestone
Retail Value: $499.00

5th Prize Will be awarded when fan count hits: TBD

Apple iPad 32G and a Life Application Study Bible
Awarded when the NLT Fan Page hits the first milestone
Retail Value: $599.00

Prize Eligibility – Recently updated to include more countries

Sweepstakes participants and winner(s) can be U.S. residents of the 50 United States, or residents of any country that is NOT embargoed by the United States, but cannot be residents of Belgium, Norway, Sweden, or India. In addition, participants and winner(s) must be at least 18 years old, as determined by the Company.

Sweepstakes Starts

March 17, 2010 @ 10:24 am (PDT)

Sweepstakes Ends

April 30, 2010 @ 10:24 am (PDT)

Wait, there’s more!

Visit http://biblecontest.newlivingtranslation.com/index.php for a chance to win a trip for two to Hawaii!

Here are the details:

Choose one of six passages of Scripture from the New Living Translation and consider:
How do these verses encourage you to know God better?
What is God teaching you in this passage?
How does this passage apply to your life?

Submit your answer and you’ll be entered to win.

Just for signing up: Everybody Wins! Win a Free .mp3 download from the NLT’s new Red Letters Project. It’s the dynamic, new presentation of the sung and narrated words of the Gospel of Matthew. You win the download just for entering! Or choose to download the NLT Philippians Bible Study, complete with the Book of Philippians in the NLT.

Every day, one person will win the best-selling Life Application Study Bible!

The grand prize: One person will win a fantastic trip for two to the crystal clear waters of the Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu’s North Shore in beautiful Hawaii.

Fire!

2010-03-17T16:15:00.003-04:00

God is an All Consuming Fire. Think, consume the whole universe! We are called to be on fire for Christ, to be a spark, and a light in the darkness. So, I ask you, what kind of fire are you?

Let's consider the various types of fire we have and what they do.

Forest Fire - This type of fire is very painful and can be seen as destructive. But, as we've often heard, forest fires can be good. They destroy the old, often dead growth, to make way for the healthy, new growth. Forest Fires can be cleansing. These fires clear the land for those who follow to till and sow the fresh soil. Think Martin Luther.

Bonfires - These bring to mind the outdoors, columns of flames, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows. Often there are lots of people grouped around these kinds of fires. Many people are touched by bonfires and there is a lot of fellowship going on. Think Billy Graham.

Wood stove - These are the behind the scenes, hard working, keep you warm all winter long kind of fires. Often not noticed until the heat is gone. Think my parents, John Watson, The Froh's. Ok, so you may not know these people specifically, but God does and he knows better than I all the things they do. I'm sure you know someone like this. Pray that God keeps their burners well stocked with wood!

Fire Place - Romantic, cozy, only a few people grouped around it. These fires offer intimate heat to a few people. These people provide comfort and warmth when you need it. They are always ready with a prayer for you, an apt word, a loving hug, or even just a quiet presence. Think of those people you run to when you need comfort or a special word. I think of Diane Watson or Kim Cobb

Candle - The simplest, often smallest, of the fires. Compared to the others, these fires don't seem that great or grand, but they are needed. We need a candle to light our way, to light our book, to produce a spark. These people often work one-on-one with others. They work hard to light the way for others to follow, to provide insights and direction in personal study. Me.

I ask you again. What kind of fire are you?

Ode to The Summer That Wasn't

2010-03-12T17:45:00.003-05:00

March roared in like a lion,
and exited like a lamb.
Normal seasonal weather ended - Bam!

April showers
dried in the air.
Sunburns and Global Warming glare.

May flowers
cried thirstily for rain.
Their wish granted, swept down the drain.

Summer choked before appearing.
each grey and dreary dawn,
did bring a lush, green lawn.

April's record highs
driven from our mind
a monotonous chill on the temperature line.

Sunscreen leaking in a drawer
pools, no ripple broke.
We all hoped it was a joke.

To see if they had
Rip Van Winkled May to October,
some checked the calendar.

Summer oozed muddily
into a normal Fall.
Thankfully the Yankees were on the ball.

A memorable Summer,
except,
it wasn't.

(disclaimer: I know this is not written in an Ode form. The is for my husband, who does not understand poetry at all. He believes they all should rhyme. He asked me to write him an "ode" about our last summer. Hope you enjoyed!)

Burried under a Mountain

2010-03-11T21:06:00.002-05:00

A mountain of laundry, that is!

I've been busy analyzing my life. Why am I so discontent with everything. I have a great husband who works hard and is a wonderful dad. Four wonderful kids who are very easy to deal with, mostly. A house, a job I can work whenever I want, great friends and family, money for everything we need and a few extra dollars for some small fun stuff. Many people would look at my life and see I have nothing to complain about. No major in-law battles, no health issues, no catastrophes of any kind.

Finally it hit me. Supposedly, Mothering is an Adventure. It's not, at least not for me. I want to do great things, go on quest to save the world, have adventures in far away places, battle the forces of evil, and look darn good doing it. I was always the kid in Sunday School who wanted to be "called" to deepest, darkest Africa (if there is such a place any more). I want to go to far off places and do momentous things to help the people there.

Where am I now? George Lucas says it best, "In a galaxy far, far away." I am the furthest from a quest of my dreams. My world consists of laundry, dishes, runny noses, potty training, diapers, homework, coats, boots, mittens, lost bears, sippy cups, and puking kids. Doing the same things day in and day out. It makes me want to scream! It makes me sad and depressed.

It is a struggle every day to find some joy in what I do. I love my children, I love my husband, but I often feel they would be better off with a better mother. Yes, I know how to be a good Mom, but that's not who I want to be. I have no contentment, I have no joy, I have only an endless sorrow of endless mundane days of endless repetitions of endless tasks.

What's my weakness? Everyday, Mommy, tasks.

I try to hide, in books, living vicarious quest through other people. But, when I return to reality, after having ignored my family and house, the excitement gets lost. So, I pick up the next book, and the next, never getting enough of the adventure. Wanting to depart from this world that sucks me dry.

My kids deserve better than what I can give them. My husband deserves a better wife. But right now, I'm all they've got.

This is not suppose to be my life. How did I get here? Why didn't God stop me? Last first, He didn't stop me because this is where He wanted and knew I would be. The place where I would have to turn to Him for help, daily, not just occasionally, but daily and often hourly. I did not plan this, nor did I think this far into the future when I was falling in love with my husband. Blindly, I would say.

What do I do? Well, reading doesn't seem to be helping, so I'm going to cut that out for a bit. At least the questing ones. Like romance novels make me disappointed in my husband, these books make me disappointed in my life. While that's not going to make things magically better. It will help when I don't constantly have examples of adventures others are having that I'm not.

This verse keeps popping up every time I want to wallow in self pity. "God's strength is made perfect in my weakness." So what? I kept asking. Then, it hit me. Duh! My weakness isn't kryptonite, it's everyday life! At least this everyday life I'm living. The world is supposed to see God through me. How can they do that if I'm able to handle things on my own strength, aka questing and adventuring? That's not God working, that's just me.

For many, the life I live isn't hard, difficult, etc. etc. It's easy, my life is what they are good at. For me, this is hard. I'm so weak at doing this. It's a daily struggle I have to wake up to each and every day. And, to top it all off, I've been blocking God from giving me His strength. I never thought of everyday life as a weakness before, just a chore to be done over and over. So, I never asked God for His strength to survive and thrive in my world.

I started doing that, two days ago. Am I a brand new person? Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Not really. But I've noticed a difference. If I talk with God about my weakness and ask Him to be my strength, my day goes so much better. I feel better, that's the difference. I have more love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Things that touch on every area of my life. I'm happier with my children, with other people, with my life.

Are things perfect? Far from it. I'm relatively new at this, so I've slipped often. Sometimes I remember to go back and talk it all out again with God, sometimes I don't. I just cling tight to His promise that He is standing next to me with open arms, just waiting to give me all the strength I need.

Why Today?

2010-03-09T10:28:00.002-05:00

It is vacuuming day here at my house. Not just the quick run through, but a thorough cleaning complete with doing the edges and moving easily movable objects. As I finished vacuuming my bedroom it happened. The vacuum broke. It was already party broken. I had changed the brush belt and could not get the lid to stay on. Apparently the holes in the plastic lid where the screws went lost its thread so the screws could not be replaced. I've been holding it together with rubber bands. Some how the lid slipped and part of it came up. I can't get the other half to come off now. It's over 8 years old, so it's time to go. Until I buy one, I get to look at the crumb strewn downstairs and hope no one stops by unexpectedly!

Not My Child, Monday

2010-03-08T16:07:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

At the grocery store this morning...

My daughter did not walk along the condiments aisle, flipping all the condiments upside down and setting them on their caps.

My daughter did not try to eat through the package of taco seasoning to get to what was inside.

My daughter did not remove at least 3 price tag stickers from the shelves in the dairy aisle, before I caught her.

My daughter did not runaway with a container of mini-M&M's, when I told her she could not have any today.

My daughter did not hide under a table of cookies and try to open said container.

My daughter did not turn on and start pushing buttons on the closed register next to us.

And finally, at home...

My daughter did not poop in her underwear 15 minutes after she peed on the potty.

Does anyone want a Mini-Me? I'm giving her away free. She comes complete with sullen looks, stubbornness, grumpiness, and the ability to disappear in a clear, open area at a moments notice. Will accept first offer.

Media Fast

2010-03-04T08:05:00.001-05:00

I've been spending way too much of my time goofing off on the computer. If I was working, I might not feel as bad, but I'm not. So, in light of this, I will be taking a media fast for the next 48 hours. No movies, (we don't have tv), no internet, no fiction books. My only form of entertainment will come through my children, my writing, or studying the Bible.

Will see you in a few days.

-Juli

Snow Blower Brigade

2010-02-26T15:59:00.001-05:00

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank those men on our street who are kind enough to help out their neighbors when it snows like it did yesterday. Three of them were up early, before 6am, snow blowing the bottoms of our driveways and the sidewalks clean. Our next door neighbor was even kind enough to do most of our driveway! What wonderful neighbors!

Dump Day

2010-02-23T11:55:00.003-05:00

My brain started out working fine this morning. But, round about 9:30am it gave up and left for a quieter corner of the world. As I sat, trying to coax it back, my three younger children - Little Dude, Mini-Me, and Surprise! - were playing happily. I finally decided dragged my brainless body out of the chair to fold the laundry that was dry, and wandered into...

...The Dump Zone.

Every now and then, a secret message will be sent to my children, from parties unknown. Sometimes this message comes three days in a row, sometimes there are weeks between them. What are these messages? I'm not sure exactly what they say. I think they basically say, "It's Dump Day, you know what to do."

Dump Day starts out innocently enough, a few toys here, some over there. It quickly escalates into full dump mode. Bins, boxes, shelves, and often the Tupperware cupboards, are dumped. It's easy to do, take a bin full of toys, turn upside down, and you've just started Dump Day. (or, If you're Surprise! and you aren't capable enough to dump all at once, stand there, grab a toy, and chuck as hard as you can. Don't forget to giggle.) The toys can be dumped right next to the place they are kept, in a pile in the middle of the room and covered with a blanket ("We're making a robot, Mommy."), or for more fun, scattered through out the house in a blanket of toys.

So, keep a close eye on your children today. The message has gone out. You've now entered, The Dump Zone.

2010-02-20T15:30:00.004-05:00

Do you ever feel weighed down by sin? For some, sin only weighs you down spiritually. No one can see the sin you carry. For others, though, the sin they carry spiritually is also carried physically. In Start Somewhere: Losing What's Weighing You Down from the Inside Out, Calvin Nowell documents his journey of loosing 215lbs, both physically and spiritually.

While Calvin's book is mainly for those who want to loose physical weight, with the strong spiritual aspects of this book anyone who wants to loose any type of spiritual weight can find help inside.

Calvin takes you through eight steps for spiritual weight loss - "Own your own weight, see God as your friend, take up a new perspective, get someone to hold you accountable, start somewhere, eliminate the excuses, accept the need for training wheels, and persevere to the end."

I enjoyed following Calvin as he realized his slavery to food, watching as he struggled with allowing God to remove his bonds, to finally realizing the victory of being released from slavery. He does caution that it is very easy to slip back into old patterns, patterns that are built over a life time. Calvin encourages you to daily lay the weight of your slavery at God's feet and let Him carry it.

"No matter what our weight is, no matter how heavy it is, no matter how hopeless it seems or how long we've been carrying it, God is big enough to handle the job...You can have a life free from slavery to behaviors you can't stop, thoughts you can't silence, and appetites you can't satisfy. Starting somewhere means being willing to let go of your weight in sin and start the journey."

(Copy of Start Somewhere: Losing What's Weighing You Down from the Inside Out provided by Tyndale Publishing.)

2010-02-15T17:03:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not punch a friend in the stomach, thinking he was tormenting me since he knew I couldn't eat what he was offering, when he kindly offered me a cinnamon bun with raisins, homemade no less!

I did not give my one year old a piece of Dove chocolate just so she would sit quietly in her highchair while I finished reviewing a book for the newsletter.

I did not procrastinate and miss January's newsletter, then promise myself to do February's on time, and then just finish a Winter Edition yesterday.

I did not ignore the smell emanating from one year old's diaper and try to drop her off in nursery hoping they would change it, and then get caught trying to do it.

I did not yell out at the Valentines Day Banquet at Church "Because she's limited herself to just one man!" in response to the question "Why is a bride unlucky on her wedding day?" (Correct answer was b/c she doesn't get to marry the best man.)

What did you not do this week?

The Bad Apple

2010-02-12T15:04:00.002-05:00

Since Mini-Me has been home from the hospital she has wanted to watch "Larry Boy and the Bad Apple" at least twice a day (she gets to watch a little something every time she has to be nebulized, it's the only way I've been able to find to keep her still for 15 minutes!), sometimes more. Thankfully we're down to nebulizing only twice a day now.

Everyone, but Mini-Me, is frustrated by this. It's getting monotonous! (Although, she has started getting away from watching it as much recently.)

Having to listen to the program in total, at least once a day, I've found myself singing the songs and repeating phrases (which I've tried, unsuccessfully to drive out of my mind!). This had lead to dwelling on the theme of the movie - temptation.

Today I got it. Mini-Me wasn't watching this for herself, but for me. That one stung. We're all tempted each day. Some days we successfully avoid the temptation, others not so successfully. If we give in to a temptation even once, with its accompanying rationalizations, it becomes easier to give in the next time. We even have better rationalizations. My biggest temptation recently has been food (any food, it doesn't really matter what it is, I'll eat it and eat a lot of it!). I really even haven't tried to avoid temptation or stop myself.

It's been costing me, not just spiritually, but monetarily. I want to be at a healthy weight. I feel better, have more energy, and can do more things with the kids. Right now I'm aiming for the top of my weight range, and then I'll work on getting down to where I want to be. I need someone to be accountable to. Tried my husband, he's mean when it comes to keeping me accountable, so I don't use him for anything anymore. Tried my sister-in-law, whom I see often. She's so nice, too nice and understanding when it comes to slipping up on eating healthy. So, I joined Weight Watchers. This way I have to be weighed, every week, in front of someone. And, I have to pay. Not too expensive, but something we're just barely squeezing into our budget right now (that's a blog for another day).

I have been within 5lbs of my goal weight, at Thanksgiving. Since then, I've fluctuated about 3lbs up and down, never going bellow that 5lbs mark. I had many excuses, it was the holidays, a birthday party, church dinner, coffee house, out with the girls, need to try out these cookies before I send them over to someone, I've had a stressful day, I did great on working out this week and I need a reward, etc., etc. I'm growing quite good at these excuses. (Give me a buzz and I can share a few tailored to your needs.)

I know I need to reach my goal weight. If I do that, and stay there for 6 weeks, Weight Watchers will be free for life (as long as I don't go over my goal weight that is). Money wise, I need to reach that goal. Unfortunately, that is not a really strong push to get me over that 5lbs hump. Since I've gone back to work a few days a month, I've rationalized that I can just work more to pay for Weight Watchers.

This morning God woke me early. Ok, Ok, my alarm went off at 6am so I could potentially get up to spend some time with Him, but I wanted to sleep a little more this am. As I pushed the snooze button for the second time a word screamed through my mind "GLUTTON!". My eyes flew open and I jetted out of bed. I spent some time reading and praying. What did I learn? I'm a glutton.

My sister and I have often joked about being gluttons. We love to eat. Neither of us is obese, just a few pounds overweight, so it's not so obvious to other people. This morning, I wasn't laughing.

A very serious God sat me down and told me that sin wasn't a laughing matter, not even gluttony. I felt about as big as an ant, but wonderfully loved. He cared enough to give me a wake up call about this temptation and sin in my life. He told me in no uncertain terms was I to continue in this matter. What could I say to Him, but "Ok, but how?"

You see, it's not that I eat bad foods all the time, it's just that when I do eat, I like to eat and eat and eat and eat, even if I'm full. I can't just take one bite or a little of something and be happy about it. I want more, I feel I need it and deserve it. I'm a mom, I work hard. What am I going to do?

Fasting is going to be a new word in my vocabulary. I've found that after I've slipped up with my eating, I tend to just discard portion control out the window. The best thing to do, reset myself by fasting and denying.

There will also be lots of dialogue b/t God and I when I eat. I know that there are things coming up where there will be lots of good food, isn't there always! I can't just go in with a plan, because I'm good at throwing those out as well. If I keep talking with Him, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get these urges under control. It may be that I'll have to say no to a lot of things until I learn to get myself under control, hopefully soon. If not, I just pray I can give up certain foods for this present life.

Today has been a good day for me. I've eaten healthy food and clenched my teeth not to over do it. Now I just need to see if I can continue in this manor. I know I can't do it alone. And, I know I will fail at times. That path way to temptation is well worn and so easy to slip back into. I'm going to look at it like riding a bike. Some tumbles, false starts, and then I'll be off pedaling furiously. But, always with my Dad watching and waiting to see if I need any help, hopefully not by yelling "GLUTTON!" at me again.

(ps - Mini-Me is still asking to watch "Larry Boy and the Bad Apple")

Tranquil Tuesday

2010-02-09T09:45:00.003-05:00

Today I resolve to have at least 5 minutes of tranquility. A difficult feat with four kids, as some of you know. Sometimes it's even difficult if you don't have any kids. I have found that, if I take even 5 minutes out of my day to do something for me, I can pass that tranquility on to my children and create a calmer day for everyone. From just locking the bathroom door while I'm in there to heading out with a friend, 5 minutes or 5 hours, I need some tranquility in my life. [This 5 minutes does not include the time I spend praying or reading the Bible, which also leads to a more tranquil day.]

This Tuesday, I resolve to drink 1 cup of hot tea. Not warm or rewarmed, but hot and fresh out of the pot.

What are doing to make your Tuesday more tranquil?

"Mommy, I want to sit on your lap!"

2010-02-05T16:52:00.004-05:00

I really do not like to hear those words, sometimes. Other times, those words are wonderful. Most of my children are still young enough to sit comfortably on my lap. Lately, though, it has only been said when I least want them to sit in my lap. It goes hand in hand with the "Mommy, I'm bored." phrase I've also been hearing.

For example: I needed to take the Little dude to preschool this morning. Mini-me was in top form, fighting me every step of the way. Yelling that she didn't "want to!" and "I want to stay here and play!" and "I don't love you any more, Mommy!" I dragged her out the door. She did not want to get out of the car once we were there, nor did she want to go into the building, down the stairs, and down the hallway. She fought me until I was ready to walk back out the door. Then, she found some fun things to do and did not want to leave. Leaving preschool was just another repeat of getting there.

Once home she didn't want to get out of the car, walk down the driveway, go up the steps, go in the door, etc., etc. I finally managed to get her in the house and close the door.

She proceeded to play happily on her own while I folded laundry, until I decided to do a short 15 minute workout. Then she was all over me, spreading videos over the floor, spinning around me, and being a nuisance. When I was done, and asked to do something with her, she didn't want anything to do with me. "Go away, Mommy. I'm playing."

Thus the day has gone, as have the past too many days to count. Very frustrating. I can play computer games all day long, and never be bothered. Actually sit down to write or blog, and Mommy becomes the new monkey bars.

My older two children sometimes do this, but we've seem to have worked out a compromise between Mommy doing things with them and on her own. Mini-me, doesn't want to work out a compromise. It's her way, or the highway.

Help! They're back...

Where have I been

2010-02-03T14:34:00.003-05:00

My resolution to post every day, or almost every day, has fallen by the wayside. Not by my own desire, or lack of ideas (I do have 4 kids!), but because those little 4 kids have been sick, for about a month and a half! It's not been fun. At one point in time they were all sick at the same time. You may think, 'Great! Get it over with all at once!' Not so fast. It's hard to keep track of all 4 kids with their medications, nebulizing, sleeping, potty, coughs, etc., etc. when their sick. I ended up charting on my own kids. (I am a nurse.)

What really threw me over the edge was Mini-Me. She has always had difficulty when she catches a cold. She wheezes, coughs, and gurgles the whole time. Every time she has a cold I need (or should) nebulize her. She's been this way from cold number one, at 1 month old. (Got to love older sibs bringing home nasty bugs)

All four of the kids caught the strange coughing virus that was spreading. Inconsistent fevers (up and down all day, even without medication), wheezing periodically, laying around occasionally then jumping up and running around like nothings wrong, horrible coughs every few hours or so.

After about a week everyone was starting to come around. Fevers going away, coughs becoming fewer, energy back in full force. I breathed a sigh of relief and headed off to work. I slept most of Saturday. When I got up, Hope was acting strange. She still had the cough and wheezing. They were worse than when I had left for work the night before. Her fever was up to 104. Contacted the pediatrician on call and then headed over to the ER.

There she was tested for RSV and H1N1 and had a chest x-ray. RSV and H1N1 test were negative! Yeah! But, chest x-ray came back with lots of gunk in one of her lungs - pneumonia. We spent the next day and a half in the hospital, on the floor I work on, while they pumped her full of antibiotics and she breathed pure oxygen.

Mini-Me grumped the whole time. She can be very miserable when she wants to be. Finally they said we could go home. She responded to the antibiotics and oxygen therapy well.

Despite being a nurse, it is very stressful for me to have my children in the hospital, even for minor things. Guess I have an over active imagination and know too many things that can go wrong.

Finally, finally things are back to normal, which for us means illness free. Maybe now I can get back to all of the other things I should be getting done.

Not so Many Hats Week

2010-01-21T20:07:00.003-05:00

My creativity has abandoned me this week, as have the majority of my Hats. This week I have worn only 2 hats, though I attempted to wear many others. This week I have been "Mommy" and "Nurse". All my children were sick this week, a first I never hope to repeat.

I have bemoaned, in the past, when each child fell sick at different times. "If only they were all sick at the same time, I could get through this much faster." After THIS week, I've changed my tune. Trying to track all the medications given, to whom, when, and how much, and who was nebulized has been a challenge. I am a registered nurse, you'd think I would do better at this. I finally broke down and started charting, yes charting, on my own children. (Although, I never wrote progress notes nor set up a care plan for them.)

The upside, I spent a week at home with all my children. No one wanted to see or be around hacking children. While I'm starting to feel a bit trapped, I've enjoyed spending the time playing and caring for my children.

I am looking forward to getting out of the house later this week for work...taking care of sick people.

Mini-Me

2010-01-20T21:52:00.001-05:00

Mini-Me is often difficult when you want her to do something, about anything really, especially pictures. If she has it in her mind that she does or does not want to do something, it is very difficult to change her mind. She does not distract easily. Thankfully, she seems to be getting better about somethings. Here is my favorite, current, picture of her.

No Rest for the Weary

2010-01-19T21:59:00.000-05:00

It shall be a long night. Three of the four kids are sick, and it sounds like the 4th is on their way to joining their siblings. Thankfully it's not a throwing up sickness. There is a lot of wheezing and coughing going on. We thought a few of them had gotten over this, but apparently not. After my long night tonight, since I don't sleep well with sick kids in the house, I will cart them all out into the cold and visit the pediatrician to see what is going on. I am not enjoying being a part tonight.

Not Me Monday

2010-01-18T16:33:00.002-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not make a new cookie recipe (aka-homemade Oreos) and eat more than half.

I did not let my children watch and hour and half of Looney Toons this afternoon so I could have a cup of tea and do a crossword puzzle in peace.

I did not let my children stay up really late, in the hopes that they would sleep in, and then have them wake up at the same time they always do.

I did not leave the three girls - 1 sick, and 2 whiny - with Daddy, while I grocery shopped with the boy - healthy and happy.

I did not eat a whole bag of Weight Watchers candy in one sitting.

I did not ignore my 2 yo when she said she had to go potty, 3 times.

Elizabeth quote of the Day!

2010-01-15T16:58:00.001-05:00

"I'm borning a baby!"

Barn Sleding

2010-01-15T10:04:00.002-05:00

I grew up on a farm. The main barn was large and round. While it was only 1 story, the roof peaked at least 40 feet up. On one side, the roof sloped to within 6 feet of the ground. It was here that the snow from the driveways was often plowed, making that 6 foot lip very accessible.

No sled required, no snow for that matter either, just a pair of snow pants and the willingness to climb on up the roof.

The roofing material contained a flat middle, about a foot wide, with a ridge running along the long edge. With 2 of the tiles together, there was a perfect indent for boots to fit into and use for climbing.

Up we would climb, some of us to the very top. Down we would zoom. We slide down as many times as we could, before someone caught us. Then, our fun would be done and we'd be sent inside for the rest of the day.

See, sliding down the roof was not allowed. My Mom was always afraid we would fall off. There was a good sized gap at the peak, where the two sides of the roof met. An adult could easily fit through, so nothing kept us from falling through, into the barn, and down to the concrete bellow. Also spaced out on the roof were plastic, opaque tiles. There were meant to let in some light to the cows bellow. These would not support our weight, so we ran the risk of falling through if we picked the wrong spot to slide.

It was lots of fun, until we were caught.

Inside out, Rightside out!

2010-01-13T14:45:00.002-05:00

I decided my two older children were old enough to learn to turn certain pieces of clothing inside out for me to wash. (I've also been trying to get my husband to do this, unsuccessfully!) I carefully explained that clothes that had pictures on them needed to be turned inside out.

My son is hit or miss. I doubt he is turning his clothes inside out to help me, but because that is the way he takes them off.

My daughter is great about this. So great in fact that she turns every piece of clothing inside out, underwear and socks included!

I guess it's time for a review with them.

A Cold, Wet Butt

2010-01-12T18:02:00.004-05:00

(What a title! But it's true)

Before Christmas I was able to attend a Ladies Christmas Tea, hosted by Grace Fellowship Church, held at Tinelli's Hathaway house. (Our wedding reception was held there. Very beautiful and excellent service and food) The speaker, who happens to be my mother's cousin, Kathy ended up with an extra ticket. She kindly thought of me.

On the night of the tea I met my Grandmother, and her sisters Sidney and Joyce, and we headed off to Tinelli's, which is out in the middle of nowhere, think one or two houses in sight and a 20 minute drive to the nearest "town". As always with my Grandmother's family, we spent a lot of time laughing and making sure Aunt Sidney knew where she was going in the dark.

The evening was wonderful. The music beautiful, skit funny, speaker excellent as always, and the food decadent - chocolate fondant, bread pudding with black berries and oranges, and a carrot cake with pears! It was a nice evening out with family.

The end came, as all endings will - too soon. We gathered out coats and gloves, this is Christmas in Central NY after all. It had been raining the whole time we were at the tea. Aunt Sidney went to get her car and we waited, talking with other family members who were there and friends.

I helped Grandma and Aunt Joyce down the stairs and then got in the car myself. The seat was a little cold, but I figured it would warm up quickly. In only a few moments I noticed that my pants were a little wet. I thought it was b/c I had kept the door open for a few seconds before getting in. My pants proceeded to become wetter and wetter, and my underwear was also starting to feel a bit damp.

I reached my hand under my butt and low and behold the seat was not just damp, but sopping wet! My Grandmother's seat, on the passenger side of the car, was also damp, so was the middle. After trying to figure out where I could sit that would save me from becoming wetter, which there was none, and discussing how the seat could have gotten so wet with the door "closed", I finally decided to sit in the wet seat and have a very wet, very cold, butt.

My Grandmother and her sisters had a great time on the way home about me and my wet butt. I made it home and quickly went upstairs to change. Where upon my husband thought I had had a terrible time, since I rushed upstairs and didn't say anything to him.

Not Me Monday

2010-01-11T19:25:00.004-05:00

I know I already blogged today, but couldn't resists posting this. (I really need to get Kristina to come over and have her show me how to add all the stuff she does. I'm bribing you with the new nutella shortbread recipe I have!)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not pretend to be asleep while my husband changed a very messy, screaming baby.

I did not tell my 2 yo that her hand would freeze and fall off if she didn't wear her mittens.

I did not tell my 6 yo that the tooth fairy recycles her teeth. (She doesn't believe in Santa, but does believe in the tooth fairy!)

I did not leave the upstairs gate open and find that the baby had climbed down to the landing and was heading down the rest of the stairs.

I did not become flustered at Calling Hours and forget where I was and whisper "Congratulations!" to one of the deceased's family members.

I did not laugh during said funeral, with my sister, when we realized the funeral service was written out in the back of the hymnal and that the pastor had gone out of order.

I did not pick up two of the same item in the store so that the girls each had one to carry.

Why so slow!

2010-01-11T12:30:00.001-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how slow the kids often are getting out of the car and into a warm building in the winter. It's cold, snowy, windy, etc., etc. and they insist upon moving their slowest. Meandering hither and yon, while never growing any closer to their destination. Trying to hurry them is like using a spoon to shovel. And once you've herded them inside they say, "I'm really cold Mommy. Can I have some hot chocolate?"

Remembering Aunt Joyce

2010-01-10T20:55:00.003-05:00

This afternoon I attended the funeral of one of my Grandmother's older sisters. I enjoyed seeing family I haven't seen in a very long time, some of whom I did not recognize! I also enjoyed listening to everyone speak of their memories of Aunt Joyce. I did not see my mother's extended family very often. I enjoyed the times we did see each other. One of my most prominent memories of getting together with my Grandmother's family was laughter. She and her sisters loved to laugh. It was fun to make them laugh as well.

Growing up they did not have an easy life. 5 girls - Audrey, Gloria, Joyce, Sidney, Janice (my grandmother), 1 boy - Reginald. Their Mom died of cancer at age 33, leaving three young children and a husband who was in the military. Their Grandmother raised them. They all spoke very highly of her. Life was still difficult for them. Reginald died in his early teens from a seizure. Despite not always being together, the 5 girls kept in touch. Audrey died when I was very young. Gloria when I was a teenager. Now Joyce.

Their lives were not always easy. But, they kept on laughing. That is what I will always remember about Aunt Joyce.

(I last saw Aunt Joyce at the Ladies Tea hosted by Grace Fellowship Church. That's a story for another day.)

Over load

2009-12-11T10:23:00.002-05:00

I've decidedly bitten off more than I can chew. I seem to have signed up for too much stuff to do outside of the holidays this Christmas! Right now I'm looking through what I've got and what I can easily delay. Here's my list:

1. play piano for Children's choir - must do
2. make cookies - highly recommended to do
3. participate in Living Nativity - must do
4. attend Sunday School play - must do
5. attend School Christmas play - must do
6. 3 family Christmases - must do
7. update my resume - can wait
8. refresher courses for work - needs to be done by Dec. 25th, thankfully on line
9. attend orientation days for work - must do
10. write - must do in order to sleep, which I haven't been sleeping well b/c I haven't been writing
11. apply for scholarships - can wait
12. apply for college - can wait
13. wrap presents - must do
14. plan snowshoeing/sledding for Young Adult group - can wait
15. attend flute ensemble at Blue Frog - really want to go, but guess I could skip it
16. keep up correspondence with people about my book - should do
17. work out - must do
18. organize ornaments - needs to be done by end of holidays
19. organize winter outer wear - can wait
20. practice piano for upcoming times to play at church in Jan/Feb - can wait

I feel better now that I know what needs to be done and what can wait. It's hard to put things off, since I want to do them all, but if I do, I won't have time for the kids!

Mansions in Heaven

2009-12-02T13:42:00.003-05:00

As our world seems to be rushing head long into the Apocalypse, I've been dreaming of Heaven and the New Earth. It's very exciting to think of eternity and all that I've always wanted to do, people I want to meet, conversations I want to have with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and just being in God's presence physically. My imagination runs wild, although I know it doesn't compare to the wonderful and amazing things God has planned for me.

There is one black mark marring my perfect picture of life on the New Earth. The city. The city that is 1400 or so miles square! Paved with gold, adorned with every known jewel, and inhabited by every person who has embraced the one and only Truth (ok, that part will be nice). I do not like cities, nice places to visit, but not for me to live. I also hate ostentatiousness (my new word). I don't like gaudy or things that are gilded. I want green grass, lots of trees, gardens, and lots of animals around where I live. Give me an old Victorian home with lots of amazing wood work, secret passageways, hidden reading nooks, and a massive libraries and a nice kitchen. My ideal and the way the Holy City seems to be portrayed in the Bible don't seem to line up.

For a while that freaked me out. Where would I live? Would I be forced to live in the city in a house walled with jewels and gold? Would I be cut off from the nature I so love, and clean air? For a while I no longer wanted to go to Heaven, but I certainly didn't want to go to Hell!

Then, wandering into my brain from a source outside myself (read Holy Spirit speaking to me), saying my pastor likes to use. If we both thought the same, did the same things, agreed on everything, liked the same things, one of us would be redundant and unnecessary.

Here I sit, in a house and life I never wanted, asked for, or thought I would enjoy. How much better God knows me than I know myself. I can look back through the years and observe God's faithfulness in my life to care for me, give me the things I need, and even things just for the shear enjoyment of them. Obviously He loves me greatly and wants to make me happy. Knowing me as well as He does, and I know the number of times He has been right in knowing exactly what I wanted compared to what I thought I wanted, I need to have faith. He has been faithful and consistent the whole time I've known Him, what makes me think He'll change once I get to Heaven.

For the most part I rest contented in the thought that whatever place He has prepared for me will be exactly what I want and need. But, I have had numerous chats with Him about what I'd like...

Boys and Girls

2009-12-01T16:42:00.002-05:00

Last year Elizabeth and Samuel were playing a version of hide and seek. We have a little tiger with 2 wands. You can hide the tiger and find him using the wands, which light up and beep as you get closer. Elizabeth walks into the room where I happened to be. "Shhh, Mommy, we're trying to find a baby tiger. He's lost."

Then Samuel walks in. His pose is different, as is his intent. He tip toes around, sighting along his wand, which is held up to his eye. One eye closed, he says, "Mommy, I'm hunting a tiger." And immediately spotting the tiger, he proceeds to shoot it.

Elizabeth, meanwhile, is hysterical. "Stop him, Mommy. He's shooting the baby tiger!"

Satisfied the tiger is finally dead, Samuel turns to her, "It was a big mean tiger and I shot him dead."

Needless to say the game ended there, with Samuel taking his trophy off to be stuffed and Elizabeth wailing over the death of the baby tiger.

Too Sleepy...

2009-11-26T22:09:00.001-05:00

The tryptophan in the turkey seems to be kicking in. I'm getting so tired I can barely keep my head up. The past couple of days were great with both our families. I'm so thankful that we have been able to see everyone of our nieces, nephews, siblings, parents, and grandparents that are still on this earth. The kids have had a great time playing with everyone and eating lots of good food. Off to try to find a few extra hours of sleep before seeing more family tomorrow.

The Crazy Family

2009-11-25T23:07:00.003-05:00

Every family has a "Crazy" Family group. When all the siblings, their spouses and children, get together. There is always one family that walks in and it's like adding 20 extra people, no matter the size of the crazy family.

My family has been designated the "Crazy" Family out of my siblings. We have the oldest, and the most, kids so far in my family. They are a bit loud sometimes. I don't believe my kids are too crazy. They don't jump on or off furniture. They don't break things, maybe once or twice this has happened they try to be careful around other people's things. They aren't disrespectful or rude. I believe we received this title simply b/c we have the most kids, so of course we generate the most noise. 2/3 other grandchildren are under 1yo, so they can't be too crazy yet.

My only hope, someone else either has more kids (doubtful) or their kids grow crazier than mine!

Shopping Woes!

2009-11-24T23:21:00.002-05:00

I should have asked my sister-in-law to do my grocery shopping this week. It just hasn't been my week to either find time or find the items I need.

I normally grocery shop on Monday mornings, when I only have 2 kids to drag with me. My kids don't hate shopping, they love it! They believe that stores are giant play places, and thus it is hard to concentrate on what I need to buy. Life conspired against me this week, of course, especially since there is a holiday coming up and I won't be able to find time to shop for 3 days.

Monday I traveled up to a doctor's appointment, which should have been very short. It was, just the waiting time was long. Much easier when you're pregnant, they seem to be able to get you right in. I had hoped to squeeze in one store to pick up essentials - milk, cereal, bread, etc. Alas, it was not to be. I also needed to make phone calls from my mother-in-laws house, since I still have not bought a new one that can make out going calls. I figured that since I did not have much planned besides some weekly cleaning, I should be able to find time to run to the store sometime Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning. Never happened.

Monday night, I ran to the store for cereal, since we were out and you can't not have cereal with kids in the house. So, I stopped at one of the stores to pick up the few items I needed from there, after all the kids were in bed and I did my aerobics.

Tuesday morning, instead of going shopping, I waited around for our new hot water heater to be delivered. Installing the hot water heater took most of the day. By the time it was completed, Elizabet was due home in a half hour and then the older two had swim lessons.

The plan then became to head right out after the kids were in bed. But, Matt got home late and I lost all ambition to leave the house. We still needed milk and bread though. So, I headed out to pick them up. I picked up enough food to last us until Saturday am, then I'll have to go shopping again. But...

...I forgot the milk!

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's back to work I go...

2009-11-23T22:33:00.001-05:00

It's finally happened. The littlest Princess now sleeps through the night, fairly regularly, so it's time for me to head back to work. I can't really complain. My job is very flexible. I can work any hour of the day or night, doing just about anything, and get paid good money for it as well.

I called the hospital I was working per diem at last. Since I do not have retirement, insurance, or anything else along those lines, they just keep me on the list. Last time, I worked on the medical floor, not my favorite, but doable. Except for the supervisor...She was not very happy to have me on as a per diem nurse. She tried to interview me for a full time aide position. She never bothered to set up an orientation for me, or even give me an orientation packet. Granted, I have worked on a medical floor before, so it wasn't too hard to find the groove again, but she should still have gotten one to me. I printed that out myself. Then I started getting notes about when I was going to hand my packet in to her. Mentioned that she never gave me one, and was told to just fill it out. Never bothered to contact me to see when I could work or tell me where holes in staffing could be filled in. I contacted her when my phone number changed, she never bothered to pass it along. Contacted her when I ended up pregnant with the littlest Princess, and she tried to fire me b/c I had stopped coming to work. Oh well.

I've asked to be set to the surgical floor, which is also the overflow medical floor and the pediatric floor. I'm hoping they'll let me work there. I guess I could work on the surgical floor again, if I had to, which I really don't have to. There are plenty of other medical facilities in the area. Working nights fits my schedule best, and most places need to fill their night positions.

I enjoy working as a nurse. I prefer the surgical floor in the hospital, dialysis or hospice outside the hospital. I've also tried subbing as a school nurse, the kids are fun to work with, but the parents and administration irritate me too much to ever be full time. I plan on working as a nurse in some form for the rest of my life.

Now, maybe I can sell my book and therefore never have to work full time again...

All or None

2009-11-22T21:31:00.002-05:00

I've found myself frustrated time and time again while trying to loose weight. Generally it's not what I eat, but how much I eat. I like to eat and I like to eat a lot. I have a very hard time telling myself to stop eating something that taste good. I've been given 2 pieces of advice that I've learned can never apply to me.

First - You only need to take one bite, because only the first bite taste good. The rest are not so good. I tried, but found the rest of the bites taste just as good as the first, sometimes even more so! I've given up on this one.

Second - You only need to take a little bit, don't deny yourself. Once I start, it's difficult to stop. It is easier for me to fast all day than it is to control how much I eat. While I have gotten better at controlling what I've planned on eating for the day, if something unexpected pops up or I decide I'll treat myself just a little, I fall apart. I just have to say to it completely.

I'm going to just ignore these pieces of advice, since they don't seem to apply to me, and continue to deny myself and try to plan ahead!

Crazieness Done!

2009-11-21T20:01:00.000-05:00

We celebrated the last birthday party for the girls today. I'm finding it very difficult having 2 girls born 2 weeks apart, although five years apart! We ended up having 3 parties - 2 family and 1 friend for the oldest. I'm not sure what I'll plan for next year, but I'd like it to be a little quieter. The kids had a lot of fun, and the downstairs of my house hasn't ever stayed clean this long, so I guess it was a good thing. I can't believe my baby is actually 6, and the littlest 1! They are getting so big. At times it feels like they are growing up so slowly, especially when they're being punished for the same thing for what seems like the 100th time! Other times, the days seem to fly. My oldest can read already and the youngest is working on walking. I just hope I remember it all.

She can Read!

2009-11-20T22:33:00.001-05:00

My Oldest read me her first book this week. It was so exciting listening to her sound out the words and gain confidence as she went a long. Both my husband and I are avid readers. Our children would love to be as well, but Mommy doesn't have the time to spend hours reading to them. Not only am I excited to introduce her to the wonderful world of books and all the worlds they open to exploration, but the Mommy part of me is excited that I have someone who enjoys reading to her siblings! I have a long list of books I'm waiting impatiently to introduce to her, some of my childhood favorites like Ramona Quimby and some new ones I've found like Junie B. Jones! What a great journey we've embarked upon!

Quote of the Day!

2009-11-19T22:29:00.000-05:00

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
- Hermann Hesse

This is how I sometimes feel during the day, when dealing with the kids. The, "I want a cookie, Mommy." "We don't have any, sorry." "But, I want a cookie, give me a cookie.", that no amount of arguing with dissuade them believing there are cookies in the house and they are going to get one. Just an example of the strange thinking my children sometimes exhibit. Hopefully they will learn.

Hope's First Words of the Day

2009-11-18T22:49:00.001-05:00

I do not have a good idea on what to write for this post. Hope had a funny comment this morning, so I thought I'd post that.

This morning, as I was waking Elizabeth, Hope woke up. I wished her a good morning, quietly. She responded with,

"I'm Thumbalina!"

Deep thoughts, brought on by Max Lucado

2009-11-17T21:27:00.002-05:00

I'm working through Max Lucado's study on "Experiencing the Words of Jesus". It's very insightful and thought provoking, as well as inspiring to action! This past week one of the studies jumped out at me. I love the "That's interesting, I wonder" moments I often get while studying the Bible. I get them often. What is rare, for me, is to have a "blow my socks off, knock me on my rear" moments. I enjoy those too, but they often come with a price - an action required on my part.

This time it was on service. I know the whole we are servants to each other and performing service for God. Been there, done that. Max looked at Jesus, washing the disciples feet, just hours before he was crucified.

Point 1 - He knew he was going to die and how he was going to die and everything that entails. I certainly wouldn't have been washing someone else's feet at that point in time. I'd probably be worriedly focused on what was to come and how to get through it. Jesus didn't, instead he chose to take on the role of the lowest of the low servant and wash his disciples feet. The amount of love he had for them, to be able to focus on them and not himself.

Point 2 - He washed Judas' feet. The Judas, who was going to betray Him in a matter of hours! Jesus knew what Judas was going to do. He knew that Judas had sold his life for 20 pieces of silver. And yet, Jesus washed his feet with the same love he showed the other 11 disciples. That just blew me away! First, it showed how much God loves the "unlovable" and unworthy, namely me. Second, this was Jesus' example of how we are to treat all other people. He didn't even have to grit His teeth when he touched Judas' feet. He had such love for Judas, and it shows, even knowing what he knew.

Now comes the struggle. I've seen the example. Been blown away by the implications. Next step, implementing. This will be the hard part. This kind of service does not come naturally for me, especially when it involves people I actively don't like or I know don't like me. It's one thing to serve my family, who I love. To serve strangers. But, it's a whole 'nother ball game to serve someone I know is "bad" or mean to me or has betrayed me, etc. etc.

What am I going to do? I'm going to pray, a lot. That God will fill me with this kind of love, b/c it's going to have to come from Him, since I don't posses even the ability to love like this. That God will bring opportunities to me to show this kind of love, hopefully in small increments. That I'll recognize the opportunity when it comes, what needs to be done, and that I will show it with the same grace as Jesus and not gritting my teeth.

Thumbalina, et al

2009-11-16T22:15:00.002-05:00

While out grocery shopping this morning with Amelia and Hope, every time I spoke to Hope, using her name or not, she would respond to me, "I not Hope, I Thumbalina!" I spent the day calling her by her current chosen name.

Shortly before supper, Hope was looking at books. I went over to talk to her, calling her by her chosen name. She showed me some of the pictures that she looking at. In one Princess Jasmine and her father were locked in prison. Pointing to it, she said, "That's me. I locked in jail. What's her name?" I told her, and called her Thumbalina. To which she replied, "I not Thumbalina, I Jasmine!"

Taking on different persona's through out the day is not unusual for my three older children. Not only do they pick a person for themselves, but for everyone else. This can ensure fighting if the others don't agree on their new name. Then, for a period of time, they are that person.

I enjoy watching them try on different people. I watch as they see what personality traits and attitudes they like and want to adopt as their own. Of course, some of those traits and attitudes are not what I want them to pick out, so power struggles happen while I try to excise the bad traits. They have such active imaginations. It is fun to watch them imagine and dream.

Waging War

2009-11-15T21:30:00.003-05:00

I feel as if my body and I are waging a war against my baby belly. As I try to watch what I eat and strengthen and tone my body, my belly continues to attempt to fend us off. Starting from my toes, my fingers, and my head, fat layers are slowly being whittled away. Waves of fat reduction travel from the outside in towards my belly. As each successive wave reaches my baby belly, it fights back, holding tighter and tighter onto it's fat. It is fighting a, mostly, loosing battle. I watch as the waves encroach upon the fat stores and nibbles away at the edges. My belly will never win, but I doubt it will ever return to it's pre-4 pregnancy size, but it will decrease in size.

Tea Parties and Pooping Incidents

2009-11-14T23:48:00.002-05:00

I had a bi-polar day today, the day, not me. It started out wonderful. Sam and Elizabeth we are my parents house overnight; the had gone to see a play with my Mom and then to spend the night. I got up at 6 am for prayer and meditation moments with Max Lucado. As always, he opened my eyes to something in God's Word I never noticed. I so love learning something new about God everyday!

I had a quiet breakfast, since no one else in the house was up. I did some dishes, folded some laundry, and picked up a little bit before Hope awoke and came down for breakfast. She ate waffles and had just finished when Matt brought Amy down for waffles. Despite having them both up I was still having a great morning. Matt helped me finish getting the house ready for Elizabeth's Birthday Tea.

Elizabeth and Sam arrived home. Sam, Hope, Amy, and Matt left for his parent's and Elizabeth dressed in her princess dress. 6 little girls arrived for tea and cake, ate, opened presents, and ran wild through the house. When they all left, except for my niece who was staying until her parents arrived home from a conference, I was ready for some more quiet time.

Alas, it was not meant to be. Matt arrived home with the other three and then headed out to play a little football with friends. Amy needed to eat and the others watched a movie. Things were still going well, if a bit more than I wanted to do.

Made a quick supper for the kids, mac and cheese. As I was placing the plates on the table and calling the kids, I realized I didn't see Hope. She had been reading books, but she was gone. I set the other 4 kids up with their suppers and told them to be good while I searched for Hope.

I did not have to search far. There she was in front of the upstairs bathroom door, which Elizabeth had locked, holding a pair of poopy stained underwear with no poopy in it. The other hand was held up in the air, covered in poop. I was sent over the deep end. I frantically tried to call Matt to come home and help with the other kids, who I could hear fighting and banging things around, while simultaneously keeping Hope from touching anything with her poopy hand, unlocking the bathroom door, finding where the poopy had ended up, getting the rest of Hope's clothes off, and getting her into the shower.

I could not reach him. After trying him multiple times and calling other people I knew he would be playing football with (it was dark at this point in time so I doubted they were still playing), I finally reached him and told him to come home. Hope was screaming for him in the shower, she hates to get her hair wet.

Matt arrived home and took care of the other 4 kids and their messes from supper. I finished cleaning up Hope, got her into her pjs, and cleaned up the poop (which she had put into the warm mist humidifiers cooling chamber, which parts are soaking in Vinegar in an attempt to remove the rest of the poop, I'm not sure if I'll feel comfortable using it again!)

An hour after the whole pooping incident started, things were mostly clean and back to normal. My niece was picked up by her parents, Hope and Elizabeth were in bed and Sam and Amy were on their way.

I was sitting at my computer, wallowing in pity over my horrible night. Matt encouraged me to head over to a friend's birthday party and have some adult time and chocolate/peanut butter cake. I didn't want to go. I was enjoying my wallow and wanted it to continue. Besides, who wants to be around a wallower. He pushed me out the door, despite my misgivings that I wasn't wanted there in my current state.

He was right. I felt much better after I got there and indulged my need for chocolate and peanut butter. I enjoyed talking with adult friends, especially since the conversation revolved around science and nursing (2 nurses, a PA, vet tech, and radiology assistant will encourage that!).

I never cease to be amazed at how God has things all planned out. He knew the Pooping Incident would occur and how difficult that would be for me after the busy day I'd had. He had a friend plan an early birthday party for their husband, gave Matt the opportunity to get out of the house and play football earlier in the day so he would be willing to let me go out myself. Perfection! (Coicidences orchestrated by God)

Is it really November?

2009-11-13T22:32:00.002-05:00

We had yet another beautiful day. We've had more sunny days in November than we did all summer! I've enjoyed not having to bundle the kids up when I take them out places. The coats keep them warm, but are a hassle to buckle into the car seats! I hope this weather continues for a few more months. I enjoy the sunny, but cooler weather.

30-Day Shred, among other things...

2009-11-12T22:47:00.002-05:00

Matt pointed out that I haven't blogged, or written, in awhile. I had thought to only write when inspiration hit me, but I never seem to be near my computer when that happens. I'm going to go back to inundating you with daily blogs. Now, aren't you excited?

11 days ago I started the 30-Day Shred. I thought I was going to die at first. It was very hard. 20 minutes of none stop working out. I could barely walk the next day. Here I am at day 11, and level one is actually getting easier. After tomorrow, it's on to level 2! I've tried level 2 a couple of times, with my sister-in-law. She did not like lvl 1, so the past couple of times she worked out with me we did lvl 2. Her husband even tried lvl 1. He said his arms felt like they would fall off the next day!

In other news...
Elizabeth is going to have a tea party this weekend for her birthday. She decided she wanted to invite all the girls in her class. It looks like we will have 9 little girls running around the house on saturday.

Sammy has informed us that he is no longer Sammy, but Sam or Sam C. We try to remember to call him Sam, but he has been Sammy from the day he was born.

Amelia learned to climb the stairs.

Hope tries to take herself to the potty, but never gets there in time... That's a whole 'nother story.

I was in the bookstore the other day and I saw a book written by one of the people I met at the writer's conference this summer. That was really cool.

Push The Button!

2009-10-30T23:34:00.001-04:00

Tonight I confessed one of my secret impulse control problems. And, no, it's not eating any kind of food. I like to push buttons, not people's buttons, real buttons, especially if you're not supposed to push them. This is an impulse I control fairly well, better than others (eating chocolate for example!). With the kids around, I have lots of safe buttons I can push to help with the desire to push a button.

I used to work at the Boyce Thompson Institute for Plant Research. It's on a university campus. In every elevator there is an emergency call button/box/phone/speaker. The elevator in our building had a door you opened. Inside was a speaker and a red button.

One day, while I was riding the elevator alone I had the urge to push the button. You'd think I would have plenty of buttons to push in the lab. Apparently this day there wasn't enough.

I assumed that there would be no one to answer at the other end of the emergency button. I just figured it was there for the fire personnel or police, if there happened to be an emergency.

I pushed the button...A voice spoke to me out of the speaker, "Do you have an emergency?"

To which I replied, after a long delay, "No, I accidentally pushed the button."

Thankfully no one came to check up on me. Guess it helps to be on a college campus.

Did I mention I was 23 yo at the time?

Writing, Finally

2009-10-26T22:27:00.003-04:00

I finally wrote a couple of pages in my book this weekend. Might not seem like much to you, but it is a lot to me. Getting even one page in at a time is wonderful! My sister-in-law was kind enough to donate her old lap top to my book, I'll have to remember her in the dedication! I just need to remember to turn it on, and not my main computer. It's way too easy to surf the net, use Facebook, play games, etc, etc.! The difficult part I'm working on right now is finally coming together. I'm just trying not to think about how it will end, and just write little bits at a time.

On another note: The kids enjoyed looking at the moon last night. The little Dude noted that the moon was getting bigger. Last night it was half full. Last time they saw it, it was only about a sliver. Explained, briefly, about how the moon grows bigger and then smaller every month. Not sure how much they were paying attention, but they seemed to absorb it for later.

Garden Goodbye's

2009-10-22T22:12:00.002-04:00

This afternoon I finished cleaning out all of my flower beds, getting them ready for the winter. Matt even pruned the crab apple tree for me. This is the first time I've actually cleaned them all out. In past years I was hit or miss. The ones I missed over the years made for easier Falls, but the Spring plantings required more work. Just because you don't clean your gardens out in the fall, doesn't mean you won't have to clean them out sometime, if you want them to remain a garden! It feels good to have one item checked off my list, at least for a few months. As a Mom I have the eternal to do list with jobs that continually need to be redone, even if I did them yesterday. I look forward to the endless mountains of dirty and unfolded clean laundry, stacks of macaroni art dishes, and Lego landmines.

Organizing Thoughts!

2009-10-21T22:42:00.001-04:00

I'm working on organizing my, as I call it, growing vine of thoughts. I had a great bible study tonight with Matt on the names of God. We discussed Elohim (elo-HEEM). I was able to talk about some of the thoughts that had been percolating about that, since we do a study in 2 weeks to meditate on it. Then a friend came over who had missed the Ladies retreat and wanted to see my notes. We had a wonderful visit. Talking with her helped me to settle some of the thoughts I had been having about prayer and other sundry things. Now that I've thought about these thoughts, talked with someone about them (it's amazing how even just verbalizing something can make or break it, not to mention the added benefit of someone to respond and point things out you didn't see!) and worked on writing some of my questions and thoughts down I'm pruning the vine to a more manageable size. I think I can now string a few complete, related thoughts together and have them make some kind of sense! Yeah! Unfortunately it is time for bed, so I will have to wait for tom. to see if I can be productive with all this thinking...

At A Loss

2009-10-20T21:41:00.002-04:00

I'm having issues with my brain. Not that I haven't been thinking, but thinking too much. One line of thought will spawn another, which will in turn spawn another, until I'm so tangled up in them I don't know up from down. Trying to separate out all the strands to write a coherent thought in any form is very trying right now. I'm glad that these thoughts are interesting and will someday be productive, but right now life in the spider's web is wearing on me. I can only hope my thoughts slow down and organize themselves before I go off the deep end with them coming out my ears. Pray for those I come in contact with, they won't know what hit them!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

2009-10-16T22:33:00.002-04:00

Woke to about a half of inch of snow on the ground this morning. Matt was very unhappy about this. He doesn't like snow, since it means cold weather, which he doesn't like either. The kids were ecstatic about all the snow! They were so cute running around to the different windows and pointing out all the snow. They couldn't wait for me to dig out all the winter things so they could go outside and walk in it. Listening to them made me so excited as well. The world was much prettier this morning. Better than the mud and bare branches we've been getting. This fall has been fairly blah color wise. Much disappointment in the house when all the snow finally melted.

Elizabethism - When she about 2, and really getting into the idea of snow, we had one last snow storm in April. I explained to her that this would probably be the last snow. She burst into tears, begging me not to let the snow go away. Apparently she thought that there would be no more snow ever and was very disappointed. All the rest of the spring, through the summer, and most of the fall she talked about how sad she was that it wasn't snowing any more. No matter how many times I explained to her that it would snow again later in the year, she didn't seem to believe me. She was so happy when it finally did snow again.

Rewrites

2009-10-14T23:10:00.001-04:00

It's late and I need to get up early, but I promise to write a full blog tomorrow evening. I'm going to work on rewriting my latest Dustin Dust-Bunny story. Hopefully you will enjoy seeing the writer piece of me more active. Still frustrated about writing anything new. I do my best writing after 10pm, but have to go to bed early most nights. I have to get up too early and be too with it to care for my children to spend many nights up writing. I'll just have to plan one night or so a week to write. Here's hoping I can carry out this plan!

Not Me Monday

2009-10-12T19:14:00.002-04:00

My friend Kristina always post a Not Me Monday. It has inspired me...read on to find out what this day is.

I did not...

sit my youngest child in her high chair, give her snack, and I did not put in the Fantastic 4: Rise of the silver surfer so I could have peace and quiet while everyone else was gone.
bribe my children with M & M's, again, while grocery shopping.
convince my oldest child that her gum would not bleed if she pulled her tooth out early, just so I could get her to stop giving me minute by minute updates of how loose it was.
go to MOPs grumpy.
sneak Cindy's home made apple danish when no one was looking.
roll my eyes at my husband when he told one of his "one-liners"
forget to write in my story
leave my youngest child in bed with my husband to snot him up when I set up her humidifier.
miss any kids while playing dodge ball at Adventure Clubs.
forget to make a meal for our friend who is having a baby
do any impulse buying of chocolate at the grocery store, and then eat it all to try and hide it from my husband (who did not find the wrappers in the garbage).

start singing a song I know gets stuck in my husbands head, in front of him, and I did not only sing half of it...

Hope you enjoyed a Not Me Monday.

Adventures Beneath the Bed: Dustin Dust-Bunny and The Voracioius Vacuum

2009-10-11T21:10:00.001-04:00

One of my first Dustin stories. It really should be edited and rewritten, but I'll get to that later!

Every few years or so the Voracious Vacuum would threaten the Dust Bunny world. The roaring of it's hunger would fill the world with noise. Grabbing what they could, the Dust Bunnies would rush to Sacred Place, the Cradle of Life. There, in the exact center of their world they would wait out the onslaught, renewing old acquaintances, meeting new people, educating their children on the origins of their lives.

In the Cradle of Life could be found the Ancient One. The oldest Dust Bunny known. He had survived untouched by the strange creatures that threatened their world, simply by never leaving the Cradle of Life. Here, among the dirt and grim, he lived to protect his descendants as best he could. Teaching those who came to him willingly, and those who found refuge during a Vacuum attack, the history of their people.

Dustin was playing happily at the playground. He had promised his mother he would stay there, and not wander off to explore. That was easy to do this day, since there was nothing interesting going on. He was busy trying to get his swing as high as possible, so he did not notice when the other kids starting looking around for a strange sound. He had just jumped at the apex of his last swing forward when the Vacuum Siren sounded. Startled, he landed hard on the wood chips bellow.

After he caught his breath, he was up and running home. He had only heard the Vacuum Siren once, when some older boys decided to set it off. All he knew, was that it was loud and scary. He arrived home to find his mother frantically throwing clothes, food, and emergency supplies into open boxes.

She shoved one in his arms. “Here, carry this to the car, and then help with the others.”

Having never seen his mother so upset, Dustin complied without complaint. They had the car packed in short order, squeezed themselves in, and then proceeded to join the traffic jam forming on the road to the Cradle of Life. Eventually the joint efforts of the police and military, the jam was sorted out and everyone was able to arrive safely at the Cradle of Life.

Dustin left his mother arguing over a campsite to explore the ruins. He wandered where ever his whim lead him. With much meandering, he slowly made his way to the center. There he found The Ancient One with other young Dust Bunnies. The Ancient One was speaking, telling the tales of the Voracious Vacuum and courageous Dust Bunnies who tried to stop it.

“It has been more than 15 years since the vacuum has appeared. It's coming this time, was just like the others. A subsonic throbbing felt in the bones, then the growing of a roar as it drew closer. Soon it's one glaring eye stabs out of the darkness. It's voracious mouth devouring all in sight with it's rolling teeth. Nothing can stand in it's way. Your homes will be gone, your schools, you stores, you playgrounds all devoured. Here, in the Cradle of Life, we are safe. The Voracious Vacuum can never reach us here, in the center of our world. It tries. Sometimes it succeeds in catching those who do not respect the boundaries of the Cradle, but those are a foolish few. None have returned to tell us more about the beast. We can see the eye and teeth from atop our mountain here, but no more do we know of it. Many have tried and failed. Always, we look for one brave enough, and smart enough, to seek the beast out. If that happened, someday we might know a way to slay the beast.”

The Ancient One continued onto another story, but Dustin wasn't listening. He was imagining a Victory Parade, his Victory Parade. The whole of Dust World (?) would be there to cheer him and his praise his feat. There he was, a top the largest float, holding aloft the heart of the beast. He would not only follow the beast back to it's lair, but he would watch it, discover it's weakness, and then slay it. Dustin smiled faintly with the thought of the Mayor presenting him with the key to the city and all the important people who would come to hear him speak of his adventures.

He sneaked off, avoiding large groups of Dust Bunnies. He quickly made it to the borders of the Cradle of Life. Away from the loud babble of Bunnies, he could hear the roaring of the Vacuum. It grew louder and louder. Soon Dustin could see the glare of it's baleful eye. He watched in awe as the Vacuum made passes at the Cradle of Life. No one seemed to have left the borders, and the beast seemed anger about that. As he watched, Dustin noticed the beast followed a pattern to it's attack. The Voracious Vacuum would dart forward, then pull back in anger as it's teeth ground against nothing. The next forward pass would be parallel to the first, only covering a small swath of the same ground.

Dustin thought, that he could sneak up to the side of the beast, if he kept to the ground it had already been over. He noted it never went back to where it had been. He hid as the eye swept over him. Once he felt it was far enough passed him, he crept out. Running low to the ground he came upon the back left side of the Vacuum. The roar of the beast was deafening here, it was all Dustin could do to keep from panicking and racing back to safety. He kept the vision of his Victory Parade in his mind's eye as he looked for a place to jump on the beast unseen.

Just as he thought he had spied a place, the beast twisted. The glaring eye pinned him in place, and the whirling teeth sucked him in. Dustin was spun, squished, and finally slammed into the wall of the dust canister. All around him debris was being spun through the air. His eyes rolled with the effort to follow the dirt, and soon his stomach rebelled and he heaved his lunch up. After being sick, he found that he could control his stomach by keeping his eyes tightly shut and trying to hold perfectly still.

Suddenly the roaring and spinning abruptly stopped. Dustin opened his eyes in time to see a blinding white light fill the darkness. Stunned and blinded, he never noticed when the canister was removed and the contents dumped into the trash. As luck would have it, being near the top and being so light, he floated out of the trash and landed on the Phantom Shoe. His luck continued as the shoe wandered back to Dust World (?) to entice more Dust Bunnies to play inside.

He woke to the smell of old gym socks, a familiar one to him. Realizing where he was, and thanking his luck, he climbed out of the phantom Shoe. He was soon picked up by the police who delivered him to his frantic mother, after giving him a lecture on ignoring the Vacuum Siren.

Do The Happy Dance!

2009-10-08T22:27:00.002-04:00

The potty training of our two year old has been a struggle. When I potty trained my first born, I thought it would be easy. She was asking to use the potty at 1 1/2. At three she was not only not potty trained, she was refusing to use the potty. Bowing to the wise advice of "What to Expect The Toddler Years", I allowed her to potty train on her own schedule. But, as her third year went by and she said she liked wearing her diaper and she started to hide when she had to do her business, I thought I'd throw the book's advice out the window. It took a month of concentrated effort of taking her to the potty, sometimes kicking and screaming, every 2 hours before she caught on to the whole potty thing.

My son, second born, potty trained in 2 weeks. He was 2 1/2. I decided to wait with him b/c of all the difficulty with my first. One week he spent learning how to pee and poop on the potty, the next when he had to go. After the second week he just started to ask and was dry every time. Did I mention that my oldest had accidents at least weekly until she was 4? My son, I can count the number of accidents he had on one hand.

Now I'm on to the third child. I thought I had it all figured out. Started when she was 2 1/2. She could not seem to figure out how to go on the potty. We sat there for weeks on the potty while she figured it out. Finally, she figured it out. Yeah! Then started the easier task of getting her to hold it for longer than 15 minutes. That only took about a week.

We're going on 6 months here of me taking her to the potty every few hours or so. She very rarely fought me, she likes to use the potty b/c she can take her clothes off. Finally, this week she's figured out when she has to pee and will ask. She's been dry for 2 days straight!!! I know that doesn't mean she will be tomorrow, but she's finally figuring this whole thing out. Now, if she could only learn when she had to poop...

Zumba

2009-10-07T20:44:00.002-04:00

I tried Zumba for the first time tonight. I guess it's the "new" aerobics craze sweeping the nation! I don't know if I was swept, but I did enjoy it. I was a little nervous about going, since I haven't worked out since before I got pregnant with my youngest. And even before then I wasn't that good about working out. I did fine. Some of the jumping bothered my knee, but I just made them little jumps and tried to work harder at other things. I'm pleasantly exhausted, but not so much that I feel like I'm going to collapse. I had a good workout and feel great. Will I go back? Yes, but not every week. Thankfully you can pay week to week. For some odd reason the only thing I'm ADD about it working out. I don't like doing the same things over and over. I'll Zumba again, along with a whole slue of other things.

Ladies' Night

2009-10-04T00:10:00.003-04:00

I had a great night tonight. Took Elizabeth to see the Scarlet Cord performed by Ballet Magnificat. I try to bring culture to my children's lives, but it's difficult where we live. It was truly amazing to see. I was even moved to tears a couple of times. (If you know me that's very unusual.) Elizabeth loved it, she got to sit on the floor right up front and even got to dance with the Ballerinas when they asked the kids to go forward. My sister-in-law, her daughter, and another friend of ours went as well.

We dropped the girls off at our houses for the husbands to put them to bed. Yeah for great husbands! Then the three ladies went out to Applebee's for dessert and conversations. (We had gotten to the ballet early. My niece says to her Mom. "Mom, there's nothing to do. Did you bring me some toys?" Her mom replied, "Just sit and talk with Elizabeth, that's what ladies do."!)

It was a great night. My sister-in-law is amazing. I'm so in awe of the things she can do and her gift of mercy. Everyone likes her. They may not always agree with her, but I've never met anyone who could say anything bad about her, yet she doesn't compromise her beliefs. And she even likes me, prickles and all. Something I'm not used to.

Our friend is also wonderful. The things I learn from her. I admire her passion for studying the Bible and getting to know God, not just knowing about Him. Her fire is so bright. She is such an encouragement and I can talk to her for hours. She know so much and is great about helping me, in a kind and gentle way.

I am so blessed to have these wonderful ladies in my life. Women who I look up to and admire and often find myself hoping some of their good qualities will rub off on me (I'd like to be more tactful especially!). These amazing women are my friends, enjoy spending time with me, and actually learn from me as well. I'm just in awe of the wonderful women God has brought into my life.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

2009-10-02T23:32:00.002-04:00

Once again it is raining where I live. This whole past year seems to have been filled with precipitation of some kind or another. I do not mind colder weather or even wet weather, but I despise monotony. I like my weather to change. I like the hot, I feel sick weather, and the it's so cold my nostrils are freezing together weather and everything in between. So, the weather is finally getting to me. We've had this same weather for a year now and I've had enough of it. Why doesn't someone else get the rain, I know they need it more than we do right now.

To cheer myself, and the kids, up, I've been listening to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' sung by Ella Fitzgerald. I love her rendition of this classic song. I especially love the words at the beginning.

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around,
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun,
Just a step beyond the rain

- E.Y. Harburg

Recently a friend's grandmother passed away. There was some sadness, but much rejoicing at her leaving us. While she has left us, she has gone on to a wonderful homecoming. Makes me a little jealous when I actually take the time to read the news and see what a mess our world has become. I can't wait till I take that step over from this world to Heaven. Listening and singing this song reminds me that someday, many of us will take that step to a place beyond the rain. It may be raining outside, but there is sunshine in my heart.

20% and counting

2009-10-01T22:59:00.003-04:00

Today I officially have lost 20% of my body weight since January, 30% since the day my youngest child was born! It feels very good to be able to move and fit into my old clothes again. I hope to finish loosing all the baby/post-marriage weight by Christmas, although it's getting tougher now that I've lost so much. It has been an effort.

With the two pounds a week weight loss I thought I would be doing, I should have been done long before now. It has been very hard to control my desires and cravings. I've had to make a conscious effort all day, every day to keep me going and not slip into just eating whatever, whenever. It has been very exhausting, but the longer I stick with it the easier it becomes. What once took lots of planning and calculating and avoidance of the kitchen, has now become almost second nature.

I love food and love to eat so much still. I will never be one of those people who don't have to think about what they eat. I'm hoping I won't have to be obsessive about it or have too think too much on it. I'm hoping it will become a natural part of my lifestyle, with a few slip ups that don't amount to much.

But, I don't Wanna Go To Bed!

2009-09-30T21:21:00.002-04:00

No matter how early, or late, we put our older two children to bed we hear this cry. It could be after midnight and they'd still say it. It is also always said just as the child is getting into their pj's. If we've let them stay up late and remind them of this, they insist that they did not stay up late enough and need to stay up later.

Our third child, on the other hand, often puts herself to bed early. She will decide she's tired, ask for her bear and head up and get into bed. This is also the child who rolls over and is instantly asleep. (Wish I could do that!)

Recently I've caught myself saying this same phrase to my husband. Why? I know I'm very tired. I know I have to get up early in the morning. I know I will need to deal with 4 children during the course of the day and all the miscellaneous stuff that goes with them. I know that I'm not actually being productive right now, but I do write better at night if I could rev up my intelligence. Again, Why? My only answer is, peace and quiet. I've even been staying up later than Matt. It's very peaceful with them all in bed. No one demanding anything, no noise. It's just me, doing whatever useless thing I want to do.

I felt guilty for a while that I was accomplishing nothing, for either my family or myself. Then I came across this quote by Max Lucado and it sums up what I've always believed, but couldn't put into words or convince certain people to believe.

"The next time the challenges 'outside' tempt you to shut the door and stay inside, stay long enough to get warm. Then get out."

Elizabethisms

2009-09-29T19:54:00.001-04:00

Matt (about Elizabeth being matter of fact tonight): Elizabeth is full of wisdom today.

Elizabeth (to me): I'm full of lots of words today.

Hope Quote

2009-09-28T20:11:00.001-04:00

Hope is often very matter of fact when she talks. For example...

Matt: Hope, what's that on your shirt? dirt? chocolate?

Hope, looking down: It's poop. And then she goes off to play.

Sammy's Little Brother

2009-09-28T20:01:00.002-04:00

Matt has always wanted Sammy to have a brother. Sammy wants someone to share his room with him and play with him like his boy cousins do. For the most part, he doesn't mind having three sisters. Thankfully one of my nephews, who is the same age, lives only a few blocks away. The two of them play well together and it satisfies Sammy's desire to play active, crazy boy stuff. I'm very grateful that my nephews parents decided to stay in the area, and their son is one of those reasons.

Meanwhile, Matt and I wanted to get our children involved with missions and helping out others. With the kids being little, we are limited in ways we can help. Currently we try to help by providing meals for people who might need it, helping other parents by watching their kids, and trying to demonstrate common courtesies to strangers.

Yesterday we decided on one more step. We wanted to expose our children to ministering to people who live in other areas. Heading over to the Compassion International website, Sammy picked out our Compassion child. He now has a "brother" who lives in Indonesia. He is very excited about him and can't wait to send and receive letters from him. Both he and Elizabeth will be helping to support this little boy. They both receive tokens for the extra chores that they do around the house. Each month they will donate tokens to our Compassion child to help support him. They also will be writing some of the letters.

I'm excited to see them be excited for this new adventure and look forward to watch our new "son" grow through the years.

Creativity/Creation

2009-09-25T14:19:00.002-04:00

My husband often tells me I have too many "projects" going at one time. He doesn't seem to understand the need I have to create things. Whether it's knitting, cross stitch, writing, gardening, planning parties for the kids, or making some new culinary delight I love to create. Even if no one appreciates it, or even sees it, does not seem to matter, although there are times I enjoy having people know what I've done. It's growing to be an obsession of mine, learn something new and create from that knowledge.

Most people I know have the same drive, maybe not as insistently as I do, but they have it, even my husband. My kids do, they build with Legos and blocks, pretend play, and even color to create. Where does this desire come from that drives us to create things, even if no one sees them but ourselves?

Our Creator has placed his thumbprint upon us. He loves creating, just from the shearer enjoyment of it. I believe He placed this desire in us. In our small creations, we can understand His love of creating and can identify with Him. Just one more way that He shows Himself to us and shows that He is not just some distant, uncaring being.

Quotes of the day

2009-09-23T22:22:00.001-04:00

What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.
- Vilhjalmur Stefansson

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
- Jane Caminos

Purge and Toss

2009-09-22T19:30:00.002-04:00

It is so nice to purge and toss things. Old things. Broken things. Redundant things. Toys, ideas, moldy food, magazines, books, shoes, etc., etc. Today I tossed, will be sending to the Salvation Army, clothes. It felt so good. Not only to clean out and organize, but to enjoy the fact that I can no longer fit into those clothes. They are all too big. Some of the pants I can't keep up without holding on to them. It is so exciting! I will need to purchase clothes for next summer, yeah! While I have enough clothes for the fall, as of now, I plan on continuing to loose all of this extra baby weight. As I continue to loose, I will continue to have clothes that no longer fit me. I'm hoping that by Christmas I will have, not want, but need to go shopping for new winter clothes. My ultimate goal is to be able to fit into my wedding dress next year, for out ten year anniversary! I will be able to do that, just need to keep at it.

Slacker!

2009-09-21T20:57:00.002-04:00

I'm officially a slacker. Here I promised I'd post something everyday, and it's been 3 since I last posted. I'd like to apologize and promise that I'll do better. I've been busy, as usual. School for Elizabeth and Samuel, potty training for Hope, two new teeth for Amelia, sorting out winter clothes for Hope and Amelia, decided what clothes I need to buy for all the kids, knitting for Christmas, hiking, church, working on the October newsletter, starting to winterize my gardens, everyday Mommy/house wife stuff, and I actually did write once this past week.

This week looks to be about the same. Hopefully Amelia won't be teething. She is the worst kid I've had, cried and cries and cries. Doesn't want to be put down. Doesn't want to be held. Doesn't want to sleep. Doesn't want to be awake. The list is endless. Last night she was up at least once an hour, whining for about 5 minutes and then going back to sleep. So, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Planning on going to bed early tonight. Will do some more knitting and then off to bed I'll go.

Here's a thought for the day: Where did viruses come from? I know there are beneficial viruses in nature, but where did ones like the cold, flu, Ebola, the plague, etc. come from. My current, have no way to support at all, hypothesis for my book: They originally were made by men pre-flod (aka antediluvian) for biological warfare. We can make them, why not them? Almost perfect physically people must have been much smarter than we are, and more technologically advanced than we are. There were 1500 years between the creation of man and the flood, according to a literal interpretation of the scriptures. Look how far we've come in the past 100 years, and we are nowhere near as perfect physically as they were. Just want to make you think.

Quote of the Day

2009-09-18T10:15:00.001-04:00

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
- Doug Larson

Writing

2009-09-17T23:20:00.001-04:00

I'm going to actually write in my book. The part I'm working on now I know where it needs to go, just need to get there. It's not very pretty right now, just want to get it done. Then I'll flesh it out a little better.

Also have a sick child and one who is teething! So much fun abounds at my house!

MOPs, at last!

2009-09-16T21:20:00.003-04:00

The first MOPs meeting of this school year was held today! It was so exciting to be back, to see people I haven't seen since May, to meet new moms, and see how big everyone's kids have grown! Such a good time. It looks like it will be a great year. The first Wednesday of October is too far away. I don't want to wait that long before I go back. But, I guess I don't get much choice. If you're a Mother Of a Preschooler, or want to be a mother, or will be a mother soon, check out MOPs. It's a great place to go. Lots of encouragement, lots of advice, lots of women who are experiencing what you're are going through right now.

In other news...

I wrote one paragraph in my book today, before I was harassed by my children. I tried making mozzarella sticks, didn't work out so well. Gave my niece her first piano lesson with me. Planned individual time with the kids for the next month. Pureed squash, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, and broccoli to freeze and eventually cook with. Found out I love my food processor (which I received as a wedding present and have never used!).

Interesting People

2009-09-15T21:33:00.002-04:00

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
- Alan Corenk

A very sad statement about our culture. We are loosing touch with people, and loosing our people skills in the process. We all wonder why other people are doing the annoying/stupid thing they are doing. I believe it all boils down to the fact that we are loosing our ability to interact politely and to deal with things not being the way we want them to be, life isn't perfectly scripted.

When my great-grandmother was my age she would have visiting days. There were days when she visited other people and days when other people visited her. She knew which day was which and planned her schedule around it (and made sure she had a treat ready for those who were visiting her). The visiting was important, others were important.

As a society we are so caught up in ourselves and our business that we forget about other people. Life isn't about doing or getting, it's about being and relationships. God tells us to store up treasures that last, treasures in heaven. He's not talking about gold, or medals, or awards, titles, degrees. He's speaking about people. Jesus did not come to earn his degree, buy a big house, rule the world. Jesus came to meet people, to listen to them, to help them, to show them the Truth so that they could spend eternity getting to know Him and each other.

You want to be like Jesus? Love and obey God, and put others first - that's true Love.